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Mike Pugh says:

Okay, much more engaging. And it took guts to go out and interview all those people. Their voices make the piece better.

I think you can shorten it up. Sweet spot is under two minutes. There are opportunities in the upfront to shorten it (e.g. the cat). And say less about the people and families you met around the world – save that for the book.

On that note, this edit doesn’t sell very hard. I don’t know what you want me to do after I’ve watched it. I’d add more suspense to the stories from Cambodia, China, etc. “You won’t believe what happened when I took them bowling.” And tell me why I, the consumer, would want to buy it. Give me a reason to buy it. And then tell me exactly what you want me to do: “Go to Amazon and order it for $15 bucks. It ships for free if you buy two of them.”

Dig the music, but the titles at the end laying over your book distract me. Rock on.

Melissa says:

I agree with Mike above. Engaging, long, what do you want from me. I think it has a better overall feel and is much better than the previous version!

So…did Kyle and his video not make the cut?

Kelsey says:

Man, you guys are tough to please.

Mike, what don’t you think my kitty is the most precious kitty ever? I completely understand what you are saying “sell more.”Glad you like the music.

I really appreciate the advice. I’m not sure I’ll give it another edit or not. Time is precious right now and I feel like I should be pitching stories or building relationships to promote the book. That being said, what you suggested wouldn’t take too much time…

Hmm…maybe there will be a Take 4. Maybe not.

Let your voice be heard!