The World's Such a Toy

“And the world’s such a toy
If you just stay a boy
You can spin it again and again”
– Jimmy Buffett in Jimmy Dreams

It’s been a while since I’ve held a globe. The World has changed a lot since. I got one for my birthday last month from my in-laws to-be, Jim and Gloria. The globe was Gloria’s fathers. He used it in his classroom. Her accompanying note got me a little verklempt and all.

Overall, globes aren’t that useful as a teaching tool. They are hard to hold and too tiny to show a class. A single finger blocks out about 13 countries in Western Europe. But when I was in school, every classroom had one in the corner. I remember getting out the globe during break times when we were supposed to be learning quietly with a buddy or playing a game with some educational merit.

There are three ways to pass the time with a globe:

1. Spin the globe as fast as you can and imagine all the World’s people vomiting from dizziness and, if spun fast enough, flung into space with said vomit.

2. Spin the globe and blindly place a finger on it. Wherever your finger is, well, that’s the place that gets bombed to hell by your fleet of imaginary, heartless bombers.

3. Spin the globe and blindly place a finger on it. You will go wherever your finger lands. If you land on Hawaii all of your buddies will be jealous. But in truth, anyone that lands on Hawaii is a big fat cheater. What are the odds of landing on a spec in the middle of the Pacific?

#1 no longer holds my attention like it used to and #2 is a bit twisted. We’ll blame this on the A-team and my parent’s allowing me to play with guns. But #3 is still cool. Lets’ give it a whirl. First in the northern hemisphere and then in the southern…

Northern Hemisphere – Quebec. Ouch! I let my finger slide a little to far from the equator.

Southern Hemisphere – Java, Indonesia. Nice. I hear they got some good diving there.

A globe, just what I needed another day dreaming device to distract me from actually getting any work done.

How about one more spin? I’m shooting for Hawaii this time. Here goes…

Close! Marshall Islands, here I come!

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