Here’s How…
Step 1
Come up with a funny, clever, witty, insulting answer to this question…
What song is Kelsey dancing to in this photo?
(leave your answer in the comment thread of this post between June 16th and June 30th)
WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCE ON JULY 3rd
The wittier, the funnier, the more clever, or the more insulting your response, the better chance you have of winning.
Step 2
Send out an email to all of your friends about this contest with Kelsey cc’ed (kelsey@travelin-light.com). Something along the lines of…
Kelsey Timmerman, author of Where Am I Wearing? the best book I’ve ever read (if you haven’t read it you are a complete loser and we shouldn’t even be friends any more) is giving-away an iPod. All you have to do is visit www.whereamiwearing.com/ipod-promotion and leave a comment saying what song Kelsey is dancing to in this really weird photo of him wearing this really weird shirt.
The more folks you email (none of this bcc stuff), the better your chances of winning. So, if your song choice is lame this is where you can make up for it. (Your buds email addresses will NEVER be shared with ANYONE at ANYTIME.)
It’s that easy. All you gotta do is those two things and you might find yourself dancing like it’s the Bangla New Year as you jam to your new iPod. And not just any iPod nano, but one loaded with essays by Kelsey and interviews of him during his trip to the countries, factories, and people that made his clothes.
More goodies!
There will be only one iPod winner, but there are more goodies to be awarded…
(2) Rare autographed Advanced Reader’s Copy of “Where Am I Wearing?” Kelsey was contracted to write a 65,000 word book, but wrote a 75,000 word book that was trimmed. This edition contains those extra 10,000 words that were (rightfully) slaughtered in the editing process.
(2) Moju Project T-shirts. Their motto is “Buy a Shirt – Save a Life.” With each shirt they sell (or giveaway), they donate enough money to feed one orphan in Africa one meal per day for one month. How cool is that?
(2) Writerly advice such as never make up weird adverbs like writerly. Kelsey managed to get an agent and a deal with a respected publisher (John Wiley & Sons published Charles Dickens, Edgar Allen Poe, Herman Mellville, and Kelsey Timmerman? Weird, huh?) even though he lives in Indiana and had zero publishing connections. Kelsey will read anything up to 2,000 words in length that you would like reviewed and offer up any career advice. Advice will vary by genre. Travel writing and essays are in Kelsey’s wheelhouse. Erotica…not so much.
Here’s Harper and me explaining the contest…
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You are dancing to “Smell my armpits” by the Super Saucy Bunch. hahah!
Oh that would be … YMCA by the “Village People” get it Village People!? HA
This is actually a screen shot from the Tralugu ‘Condom Song’…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTLj_3R0-2g
(you actually have to watch the video to realize how appropriate/inappropriate this is)
Yes siree … look at us doin’ the happy dance; cause we’re wearin’ our disposable underwear! LOL
I’ve caught Kelsey dancing by himself quite a few times, but it never inspired me to put my hand down my pants like the guy in the orange shirt. It appears as though Kelsey has taken to dancing at prisons to evoke such a response. Sad, Kelsey. Really sad.
This is a trick question. You are not dancing to a song. This was the set you were on, remaking the 80’s Sure commercial. Raise your hand if Sure! As you can see, Sure doesn’t work for you. Look how the guy at the left has turned his head away from your pit. Maybe try Old Spice next time.
I guess, then, the song would be Divinyls – I Touch Myself.
You guys are killing me.
Toby, it was hot. Trust me no one wanted to smell them. In a sadly gullible moment, I googled “Super Saucy Bunch.”
Nilda, I’m not the firefighter or the policeman so I guess that makes me the idiot.
Cindy, Holy crap! Are you kidding. That is crazy. “I am the condom friend ever useful to you.” It is like 8 minutes long too!
Val, if we were wearing disposable underwear are hands wouldn’t be in the air; they would be itchin’ our butts. Funny.
Matt, leave it to you to go there. I never even thought that it looked like I was being molested until you mentioned it. On a side note, there is a pic of me in Bangladesh in which some dude behind me totally copped a feel right as the shot was taken. I elbowed him in the ribs. Sad part is that I use it in my presentation because it’s a good shot. But it’s a constant reminder of my molestation. I need therapy.
Feel free to enter as much as you want too!
Keep ‘em coming.
I think you are teaching the Y-M-C-A!
I’m pretty sure they’re droppin’ it like it’s hot!
I think it’s Macarena.
By the way, where did you get that shirt? That is the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen. You look like you’re wearing a shirt that was destined for either the Beach Boys or Peter Brady.
So, maybe you’re dancing to Kokomo, or When It’s Time To Change (look up Peter’s rendition on Youtube)
And I guess, it’s time to change that shirt.
It’s “The Wheels on the Bus”…you are on “the windows on the bus go up and down” verse
It’s my opinion that you’re dancing to “We are Family”!
Hokey Pokey, of course…”…and you shake it all about…” Where did you get that shirt? I have seen Harper in sunglasses but I think a turbin is next!!
“Behold, the whitest man in the country. Let us rejoice in the glow of his abnormal pigmentation and dance in the shadow of his immense nose. Hasan, put in your Violent Femmes tape, side A, and play Blister in the Sun in honor of our American friend with the bad shirt.”
“It’s Raining Men” (HALLELUJAH!!!)…”Tall, blonde, dark and lean/Rough and tough and strong and mean.” That covers just about everyone in the picture, right? Definitely “It’s Raining Men”…
You are SO doing the motions to The Itsy Bitsy Spider! You know…”the sun came out and dried up all the rain…”
I forget the title of the song but the words go something like this: I’m the white guy with the ugly f…..ing shirt daaa ooh………..
Beyonce’s Crazy in Love for sure! In Kelsey’s little girl voice and hip dance.
no question – the hamster dance. you have to dance REALLY FAST to that. of course, it helps if you’re surrounded by 6-8 yr olds. i am guessing that you all old folks (to those 6-8 yr olds) are dancing in slo-mo.
BTW, harper is TOOOOO CUTE!
50 Cent – Candy Shop, boooooooooy !
Well I’m sorry, you’re all wrong, it’s the best song ever:
http://thatsong.notlong.com
Ever.
“I called the Witch Doctor. He told me what to do. He said Ooo, eee, Ooo, Ah, ah, ting, tang, wall, wall Bing Bang.”
It’s gotta be House of Pain – Jump Around!
“Get up, stand up, come on!
Come on, throw your hands up…”
Rats, my choices were already mentioned (Raining Men and YMCA.) How about … “The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish …”
Obviously; with those outfits, Kelsey and his friends are at the tryouts for: So You Think You Can Dance – Bollywood Edition!!
Sorry, folks. Clearly, Kelsey is performing a cultural exchange by infecting those around him with the charming dance moves from Britney’s “Hit Me Baby One More TIme”.
You can tell by the reactions of those around him. Some find it ridiculous. Others are traumatized, and will need professional counseling in order to lead normal lives.
It’s like he’s introducing Smallpox or something. After those moves, these people’s lives will never be the same!
doo waa ditty ditty dum ditty do
OR a recreation of Smokey Robinson and the Miracles singing “Mickeys Monkey”
“The Time Warp” performed by The Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast. Definitely an paranormal experience.
i think its the dance in india……usually when ppl get drunk with milk they do this….:)
Rap may not be big in India yet, but I’m fairly certain they’re singing “Dance Like a White Boy” by Master Shortie:
“You got your hands in your pockets
You got your back on the wall
So get your hands out yo pockets
And get your ass on the floor.
(your’re gonna) Dance Like a white boy
Dance Like a white boy
Dance Like a white boy”
Go on and raise that roof white-boy!
Haha! Don’t feel bad. I am among the most gullible people on the planet.
Maybe they just thought you were Eminem, you know, without the entourage. Actually, nevermind, Eminem would never wear that shirt.
It’s obvious you’re jamming to Ludacris’ “Get Back”
Yeet yeet WHOOP WHOOP!! why you all in my ear?!
Talking a whole bunch of shit
That I ain’t trying to hear!
Get back, muthafucka You don’t know me like that!
(Get back )muthafucka!! You don’t know me like that!!)
Yeet yeet WHOOP WHOOP!! I ain’t playing around!
Make one false move I’ll take ya down
Get back ! muthafucka You don’t know me like that!
(Get back !!muthafucka You don’t know me like that!!)
Ya down with OPP? Ya you know me! Whose down with OPP? ALL THE HOMIES!
All the girls think I’m pretty fly –
for a white guy.
(Party Like It’s) 1999. Prince is everywhere. What else could it be in a shirt like that?
Upon spotting you in a crowd, a troup of local street musicians perform an upbeat rendition of Procol Harum’s “A Whiter Shade of Pale.” Much dancing commences.
You’re definitely dancing to “I’m my own Grandpa”. (best song ever, by the way)
I totally think you are rocking out to “Girls just wanna have fun”!!
Clearly he’s flailing his arms like a fool to “Pretty Fly for a white guy” by Offspring.
I’ve taken a few liberties with the lyrics:
You know it’s kind of hard
In Bangladesh today
Kelsey isn’t cool
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
But everything he lacks
Dalton makes up with his guile
So don’t debate, consumer straight
You know he really doesn’t get it anyway
He’s gonna play the man, journey to Saipan,
These jeans no way, these jeans no way
Your factory don’t rate, you undercompensate
At least you’ll know you can always outsource to Zimbabwe.
Kelsey is a wannabe… The world needs more wannabes
So HEY HEY do that brandname thing!
I think he’s singing: Put Your Hands Up by Fat Man Scoop: You got a $100 bill put your hands up; you got a $50 bill put your hands up; you got a $20 bill put your hands up; you to a $10 bill put your hands up!!! Peace out, K
Maybe you’re all just dancing to “Love Shack” and the guy in the orange shirt is requesting that you sing into the “microphone.”
Don’t fall for it Kelsey. (again)
From the smiles going on I would guess they are singing “If you’re happy and you know it.” (The part that goes, “If you’re happy and you know it, put your hands in the air, etc.”) Even if they aren’t singing that, it’s what they mean. Nice pic.
Kelsey is dancing to an autobiographical song that he wrote himself. Kelsey wrote the lyrics and Elton provided the melody. He plays it whenever he goes to a new place. It’s his way of introducing himself to the people.
I am the Albino Sasquatch
I’ve roamed all around this land
Be not afraid! I am friendly
Come shake my furry hand
I’ve been spotted down in Florida,
But Skunk Ape I am not
I hide my fur in a wetsuit
And hang out on a yacht
I was banned from my Yeti village
The peaceful land of my birth
Because my uncle caught me
Fondling Mrs. Butterworth
I used to be a Blackhawk,
But then my skin turned red
So I hung out in Cambodia
Until it was time to wed
Now I make my living writing books
And educating you as a voter
Just wait until the movie of my life
I’m played by Ricky Schroder!
My fur is covered by ugly shirts
So that I fit in to society
Buy my book so I can get some more
As you can see I need more variety
Please read the labels on your clothes
Don’t buy just ‘cause they’re pretty
I decided to run a marathon
So I can be just like P. Diddy
I am the Albino Sasquatch
But Harper just knows me as Dad
This song I wrote about myself
Because my dancing is so bad
[...] Kelsey Timmerman, author of Where Am I Wearing? fame is giving away an iPod. [...]
“Head, shoulders, knees and toes!” He’s practicing for when Harper is in preschool.
Whoomp (There it is)
Kelsey:”hey, brothas! i’m DOWN wit it. i be da maaaaaaan. how do u like my cooooool, hip music…whoomp. there it is! whoomp!…”
[the guys near him, wanting to be polite, dance]
Guys: This foreigner is insane. What the hell does “whoomp” mean and why does he not know ANY OTHER WORDS TO THIS SONG? And where WHAT is? Did he lose his contact lens? Freak.”
He is most definitely listening to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw
“I love you inside Ed.”
I’m not sure which of those guys is Ed, but I think it’s the bashful guy in the orange. The guy in the pink bandanna, while very excited for their relationship, is actually very jealous and secretly wants to put his papaya there.
“Can you feel it, coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord.”
- Phil Collins.
Oh no he didn’t. Oh yes he did. Does it matter that it’s off camera?
Phraedus.
You’re most definitely listening to ‘I’m an a**hole’ by Dennis Leary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5O8Yg47lXA
You are definitely dancing to Rock Master Scott & the Dynamic 3: “The Roof Is On Fire”
Except your not under the roof that is on fire which is why you are all smiling. Right? =)~
Kelsey,
What You Thought:
a A.R Rahman- esque, offbeat version of Pretty Fly for a White Guy in Hindi
What was actually going on:
gay pride “its raining men”
and they say that ignorance is bliss… well at least they bought you a drink =p
Hallelujah!
I’d have to say he’s “dancing” (if you can call it that) to “Play That Funky Music, White Boy.” But translated into the local language so it’s not as easily identifiable and has that local music flavor. And they’re playing it in F# major. (Hey, you can get a lot from a photo if you really study it.)
The more I look at this picture, the more I realize that it’s only from the waist up.
Maybe that’s why everyone is smiling and laughing at the white guy, Kelsey imparticular.
Thus, the obvious song choice is Jadakiss – Air It Out.
I’m going to go with “How Dry I Am”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM1KFHhQl6Y
Milkshake, by Kelis. ‘Cause you brought aaaalll the boys to that yard.
You and your friends are backup singers and dancers for MJ (R.I.P.) as he sings…’We are the World’.
All in favour of “He’s not dancing, not here, not right now…”, say “I”…and all the hands rose in a blaze of glory and joy could be seen on their faces and everyone said “I”
Hips don’t lie — mwahahahaha
Kelsey is dancing to the Samwell’s What What in the Butt (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU)song playing in his head (his absolute favorite song he thinks of when extremely bored and feeling gloomy) while everyone else dances to Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie.
He’s dancing to Danzel’s – Pump it up!!! Dont u know, pump it up, u’ve got to pump it up!!!
Clearly, they are dancing to “Twist and Shout” by The Beatles!!!