I was scrolling through Facebook, wasting time, not expecting to see a picture of a picture of me on a Jumbotron in Times Square. Why would I?
But there it was…
“That’s cool,” I thought. “Probably photoshopped, though.”
The Eugene and Marilyn Glick Indiana Author’s Awards had shared the photo. I haven’t officially mentioned it here on my site, but I won the Emerging Author Award. (I should write about that later. It was an awesome evening and honor.) The photo featured Norbert Krapf, the regional award winner, Michael Shelden, the national award winner, and me . . . in a suit . . . a borrowed suit.
I never wear a suit.
I had to ask if this was real . . .
Apparently it was.
I was a bit nervous in sharing the photo because it could be perceived as: “Hey everybody look at me! I’m such a big deal I made it onto a Times Square Jumbotron.”
But being overly humble can make one look like a jackass too. “I’m on a Jumbotron . . . no big deal. It’s not even worth noting just a typical Monday.”
I guess I’m a little over sensitive to social media perceptions right now. I’m reading The Village Effect by Susan Pinker. Pinker writes how social media can make users feel inadequate:
“Online networks [blitz] user with a steady stream of status updates, which by some unwritten rule, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative in other people’s social lives–making your own life look so much worse in comparison.”
Look, my life isn’t suits and 20-foot tall images of me overlooking Times Square. I don’t even want it to be that, especially the suit part. I wouldn’t change places with anyone. I’ve got the perfect job and family for me, but it’s not all peaches and cream and awards. I have self-doubts, concerns for loved ones, and sometimes I get in ruts. I wasn’t depressed after writing and living WHERE AM I EATING, but I was something and I was exhausted.
Anyhow, how do I feel about this Jumbotron thing?
It’s cool in the same way that getting sprayed by a skunk was cool. Well, the actual getting sprayed wasn’t cool, but the story is fun. The skunk story has always been my go to interesting tid bit for those awkward “get to know you” mixers at conferences. Now I’m happy to have this:
“I’m Kelsey from Muncie, Indiana. I was once on a Jumbotron in Times Square. Also, I’m not a big deal.”
All that said, winning the Indiana Author’s Award was a big deal to me and to Annie, but it does not make me a big deal. Every once in a while it is nice to have my weirdness validated.