My Red Face: Overcoming Blushing
(This is what I imagine the red-faced voice in my head looks like. Photo by PHUDE-NYC )
My face still gets red
Last night I was at a meeting where there was one person who didn’t know me. (It was a small meeting.) At the end of the meeting he asked me what I do for a living.
What I did was…my face got red.
It was an innocent enough question. It’s not like he asked me what type of underwear I prefer — boxers or briefs. Here’s the thing, though, I’ll stand in front of a room of more than a thousand college students and show them my underwear and my face won’t get red. I’ll be on a stage and challenged by a professor and my face won’t get red. I’ll be on that same stage and not know something I should know and my face won’t get red. I’ll talk until I’m “red in the face” and my face won’t get red.
In high school and even into college I blushed a lot more. It was somewhat debilitating. I was less likely to join a class discussion and more hesitant to meet new people.
Mainly it happened like this – I would meet someone I knew or didn’t, or I would be talking in public and I would think to myself, “Do you know what would be really stupid, inconvenient, and socially awkward at this moment? If my face got red.” And then it would.
The technical name for this is erythrophobia – the fear of blushing. Erythophobia can lead to social anxiety syndrome, social phobias, and depression. Mainly it just pissed me off.
Blushing is caused by an overactive sympathetic nervous system, which is part of the involuntary nervous system, making it hard to control or predict. Add in my light complexion – someone once asked me if I was an albino – and nature was stacked against me in the blushing department.
I feel like I had a pretty mild case of the “red face.” It didn’t hold me back much, but I’ve heard about others who’ve suffered from much more chronic cases of blushing and I can only imagine how much it has held them back. Heck, there’s a pill for blushing. It costs $50 per month. Yes, to some folks not blushing is as valuable as a month’s worth of internet service! (note: I have no idea if this pill works, but in my experience this is a mind over matter issue not one a pill should fix.)
I’ll go a year without thinking about my red face these days. Working retail helped. If your face doesn’t get red when an impatient, angry customer looms over you while you are changing the paper out of the credit card machine, you’re pretty much good to go on the “red face” front. Public speaking helped too. First I delivered dive boat briefings to tourists in Key West, and then I started to talk about my travels and writings at universities across the country. Once I decided that even if my face got red I was going to ignore it, it just stopped happening.
Once I decided that my red face wasn’t going to hold me back, it didn’t.
2 tips for overcoming blushing:
- Be more engaged in conversations. This is the big one. Once I began to listen intently to what others were saying, I no longer heard the voice in my head talking about how stupid I’d look if my face got red.
- Be more proactively social. Purposely put yourself in situations in which your face would get red and practice tip #1.
Once a blusher always a blusher
Still, yesterday. A room of six. One simple question from someone I just met and bam! Red face, we meet again.
I think part of the problem in this instance is that my “job” is unbelievable. I can’t believe I get to do what I do and make a living doing it. When I tell people (my exact words last night were), “I’m a freelance troublemaker. I’m a writer and speaker,” I imagine that they don’t believe me. That they think, “Yeah right, buddy. You’re unemployed aren’t you?” It’s awkward for me. I don’t want to validate my career by listing accomplishments. I don’t want to be that guy.
How do you tell someone that you are a successful-enough author/speaker without looking like that guy? I haven’t figured that out yet.
Also, I had disengaged from the conversation a bit. I was thinking that I needed to get home and help put the kids to bed. My mind was wandering. I was in my own head – where that stupid “red face” voice exists – and not in the conversation.
If you suffer from blushing, don’t let it stop you and it won’t. You’ll likely overcome it or grow out of it, but once a blusher always a blusher.
I’m Kelsey a 32-year-old author and public speaker and my face still gets red sometimes.
I’m more than twice your age and a successfully retired corporate communicator, and I still blush at the drop of a hat.
I don’t think anyone ever asked me if I was an albino (maybe because I was born a redhead and very gradually turned dishwater blond), but I’ve frequently been asked if I’m anemic. I tell them, no, I’m just melanin challenged.
But I’ve never been able to conquer the blush response.
I have been called an albino, too. I don’t blush nearly as much as I used to. Last time was probably in Sunday school a few weeks ago (Yes, adults still go to Sunday school 🙂
Sometimes it happens when I am passionate about something, or feeling emotional about something or someone. I will become self-conscious and worry I’m making a fool of myself. Then I will blush. The trouble is, I have let myself become more emotional as I get older (I used to just try not to feel stuff–I totally blocked out the entire movie of Romeo and Juliet when I was in high school. I was afraid I would cry, which would have spelled disaster, I thought)
I guess you can see this touched a nerve with me. Since I’m typing, I don’t have to blush! Yeah! 🙂
Thanks. I’m glad I’m not the only one 😀
It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one that gets red when I’m nervous.
I am so relieved to read this. And I thought I was the only one.
I just asked my Japanese officemate to download a file from the server for me. Then I caught a reflection of my face — Hellboy, or girl for that matter.
If I analyze it, I have a fear of being inadequate in speaking in Japanese. Though I am pretty sure I handled that basic conversation well. I just blush anyway. I just had to. 😐
I hate it. And was about to face palm whole afternoon but I read this.
I feel relieved.
I will blush until.. I won’t. I will just have to accept that. 😀
And that is that.
I am among some fine company here on this website! And relieved, somewhat, to hear of very similar feelings as I.
I am in my 40’s and have been a customer-facing rep and manager of people and projects for many years.
I am generally a quiet person, but not what I would call a socially anxious person. I can walk up to a stranger and introduce myself and have a fine conversation, but I can order coffee and for some STRANGE reason feel weak confidence and blush. I can sing Karaoke in front of a crowd of strangers and feel fine, but I can be in conversation with close friends and say something I feel is personally significant and, BAM, I blush.
I was shy for all my life… I could not even make a phone call to a business as a young teen, feeling like I would not know what to say. I tended to avoid new environments when I was young. I learned to deal with my shyness by challenging myself to do new things… all my life new environments have been a challenge… but I just keep pushing myself.
Lately in a new role as a Sales person I feel like my blushing is ruining my career. I am being scrutinized about my ease (or unease) with clients and am feeling like a failure. I think the pressure I put on myself has led me to a place of decreased confidence (I am new to this role and have less knowledge of the product)
I look back over my life and realize fear of blushing has kept me back from many things, (and girls I would have like to meet) but I just keep trying…I wonder if I am trying too hard and need to just settle with a less challenging career choice…stop being hard on myself…
I will keep trying… I believe we need to stay connected to people, and meeting new people in this world is just too important to avoid. ( new ideas, stories, perspectives…and who knows…they may need US as much as we need them!)
Thank you for posting this….. another “sometimes blusher”
Don, thanks for sharing this. We have a lot in common. I went through a stage of challenging myself, too. I find that I blush far less than I once did, but every once in a while BOOM! red faced! You got me thinking about how debilitating blushing can be. There should be special scholarships for sometime blushers! Glad to see that you continue to fight through it. I’m sure that once you get more comfortable with your new job and products the blushing will become less frequent. When I speak from a place of knowledge and passion about something I’m fine. It’s those moments I’m out of my element or pulling sentences from my backside that I’m most likely to blush.
Hello dear my friend,
I read all your statements and I was like hey,, thats me!! Btw I wanna tell you about my own experience on how I tried to control such a physical response. I tried many treatments but after all I decided to do nothing even if my close friend stares at my face and says hey boy, your face is getting red!
I feel that strange voice in my head has gone weak and I hardly hear it like it was in the past.
This reply comes very late but I just wanted to say what you wrote really resonates with me and makes me feel better because I am in almost exactly the same boat. I hope you are doing well mate. All the best and kind regards from Scotland.
It’s ridiculous how much I blush. Well, I wouldn’t really call it blushing. More like really, really red. My face turns red whenever I see people in public. I don’t know why! I can feel my face burning and it’s awkward. My face turns red when in talking and people look at me. My face turns red even when in not embarrassed! I hate it, but I’m confident that I can overcome it.
I got asked by a group of people I was speaking to just now, “Are you okay? Your face is really red.” I noticed I get red whenever I try to speak more than a sentence in a group conversation, to new people, or during a presentation. It’s what I get for being so awkward and shy.
Hi, me to if someone’s looking at me I would just start to blush and I’m not embarrassed I hate it, it makes me feel so insecure about myself, have you overcome it?
You literally just described me. When I’m around other people I get extremely anxious and the problem is, my best friends laughed at me when I blushed. They thought it was funny. I wanted to cry the whole time.
‘Once a blusher, always a blusher’
I was just wandering, how is it that growing up as a child my face would be the most serene unchangeable thing ever, and then suddenly at the age of 15 I all of a sudden go red. And now that I am aware of it my face just goes red all the time. When the wind blows in my face, it turns red! It’s horrible. I’m a part time teacher and I public speak, but I go red still all the time? I don’t know what’s wrong with me!?
Wow, it really does make me feel better reading all the comments on here from everyone. I don’t feel so alone. I guess all of us kind of feel like freaks sometimes. I also blush uncontrollably even when I’m not embarrassed. I’ve actually felt a little bit bullied at work because a coworker thinks it’s funny so he’ll try to make me go red all the time and then laugh at me. It really sucks and I’m trying to make it go away!
You all have an overactive sympathetic nervous system like me and in this case its blushing. Having an Endoscopic thoracic sympathectomy (ETS) surgery can cure this problem. Look here http://www.hyperhidrosiscumc.com/procedure.html#blushing…..you cant stop it mentally like you think its a disorder. Thank you
I think ETS surgery should be the last choice. I used to blushing really bad too. I was about to get the surgery and then I tried a downloadable hypnosis track. Yes most people who have this have an overactive sypathetic nervous system but it can still be stopped mentally. you just need to change how you think about it like it did. do not get the dangerous surgery!! look up the possible side effects they are scary! some people have reported feeling like there body is seperate to there mind. dont play around with nerves!! try hypnosis first and then try drugs and then surgery as a last option. look at http://www.myblushingcure.com….. you can stop it mentally. ITS SAFER AND CHEAPER THAN SURGERY.
Why do you bushing all the time? because of bad afirmations. these are constant thoughts in your head like… I’m going to blushing today, I’m about to blush, Im a sad case of a person because im blushing again, everyone thinks something is wrong with me because i blush, i want to say something but ill just blush so ill stay quiet.
A hypnsis track helps you to change how you think about blushing. so instead of thinking like that, you start to not care about blushing when it happens, then because you eventually dont care it fades away without you even noticing. then you are cured! sounds better than the side effects of surgery to me
Listen” pull him to the side in a nice subtle way & tell him it’s really not nice to keep bringing it to your attention & it’s not actually funny,, as it’s making you feel really uncomfortable & arkward!!,, & what he’s doing is quite mean!! & make sure you tell him & he’ll stop,, trust me,,
Hi, im so glad to know that im not the only one who has this kind of a “blush”. Im 26yo Filipina residing here at Jeddah KSA working as a Nurse. It all started way back when i was in elementary. I auditioned for a singing contest, and realized that people were all staring and talking about me because of my red face and neck. I knew i was nervous that time. I know its normal for people to blush on things for some reasons, like being anxious, excited, happy or sometimes troubled. I experienced a lot of times having red face and neck. Just recently, after a very long wait for my saudi citizenship card, one saudi staff approached me and told me that he has the card the already and wont be an alien anymore. And to my excitement and overwhelming gladness, i almost hug him (its actually not allowed to have a conversation with a saudi national to a female here, though) but anyway, so my bodys response, definitely turned RED! And all of my colleagues are asking what happened to me. The hot weather here added more heat to my face and neck, including the fact the all ACs were on. Anyway, just sharing one of those,blushing experiences i had… So many to tell…..
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This makes me feel so relieved that I’m not alone in this, and this is the first time I ever talked about my blushing so publicly. My friends used to tease me whenever my face went red from embarrassment, but ever since then I started to fear turning red because I was afraid people would tease or judge me. Last year I used to turn red in class whenever people turned around to listen to the kid next to me talk! I would also turn red whenever I was randomly called on or meeting new people in general. I have gotten better about it this year, now that I have practiced my social skills over the summer and trying to step out of my bubble. My face doesn’t get beetroot red as often anymore! I’m a lot more confident, social, and outgoing. However, I can turn very pink-red easily whenever I hang out/talk with the friends that use to tease me when we were immature 13 year old middle school girls, and those friends are my closest friends. Whenever I talk to them, I think, “Oh no I hope I don’t turn red! They’re going to think I’m weird” and then my face would start turning red. In response my friends would say, “Angela! You’re sooo red! Why??” or “Your face turns red so easily…” with a confused look on their face, which makes me feel uncomfortable.
Angela, I had a red face moment at Thanksgiving. Nothing happened or was said, I just thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be really uncomfortable if my face got red right now,” and it did. But it didn’t get all the way red because I let the though slip away and concentrated more on the conversation and less on my interior monologue of self-doubt. Good luck!
What if you’ve been blushing/flushing for so long that your cheeks have a permanent redness to it? That’s what I have and it’s the worst because even when I don’t feel a blush, I know my cheeks are red, and when I do blush/flush it’s REALLY bad.
this has made me feel so much better. I was feeling really defeated about this earlier but now i just think f*ck it. I’m not going to let this minor issue make me feel so awful about myself. I don’t care how stupid i look anymore. I’m just going to face my fear of being a tomato face to get over it. Thank you for takimg the time to write this.
I still blush ever so often. but mainly at school was wear it hit me worst and it think that this would be the case for most blushers. when you’re at school almost every situation is social and is hell for blushers. I’ve left school now and I barley blush. have a great job and a great family, i think as long as you can make it threw school youll be fine
My face was turning so red when reading these comments.
Be yourself when talking to someone you like. Do not try to be cool as this will put you under more strain. Recognize that if this person is worth getting to know better your How to Stop Blushing will not put him off in any way. If it does, he is a very shallow person, and you are best finding this out at an early stage, before wasting any more time on him.
Hello. I suffer with blushing, it wouldn’t bother me if it was just my cheeks but it affects my neck, back, chest and arms. And it’s usually blotchy. I get so fed up of it. Especially when it flares up. People ask what the marks are, or “you have a rash” etc. I hate it. It stops me from excelling myself. I wouldn’t say I was a shy person. I’m quite confident but when it happens I want the earth to swallow me up. I tried propranolol with no help. Tried cognitive behavioural therapy. Made me think a little different but I still have the problem! I’m glad to hear other peoples stories.
If you want to know How to Stop Blushing highly recommend you first read my story, it contains what cured me and still prevents me from blushing to this day.
I think the fact that it doesn’t happen to me all the time makes it worse, because when it does people notice it more. In my head i am a confident person, i enjoy talking to people and want to contribute, but more often than not i am held back by my fear of going red. Its something which i have endured for years, but only until very recently have realised that this is something that doesn’t just affect me but many others aswell. To know that i am not alone in the struggle against this very often debilitating condition has helped me to manage it, and i think this is the ultimate solution to overcoming it. Being aware of it and reading about other peoples experience has really helped me deal with my situation. Everyday i go into work and tell myself that it is just a stupid thing which should not hold me back
Not sure if this post is still open but just wanted to say I met someone in the supermarket yesterday and I could feel myself going red talking to her and she was also going red. I think it was just because we weren’t expecting to see each other and your in your own little world in the supermarket and I just thought she’s another person who suffers from ad hoc blushing so it didn’t bother me. My message is that most people don’t really care whether you change colour on meeting them. Its not really a reflection of a lack of confidence but just a slight body malfunction 🙂
I am 13 and I go red quite often, I am not always quiet in fact I am quite outgoing. I am classed as a nerd at school even though I am friends with everybody in my class and pretty much everyone I know even if I don’t know them that well. However when it comes to class I don’t like to talk in front of people. I hate putting my hand up to answer questions if I don’t know if I have the right answer because I am worried that everyone around me including my closest friends will judge me. If I say something wrong I will go bright red in the face, I can’t control it especially when it comes to class presentations or simple bits of classwork when we just have to read out a radio interview or a story or something like that which we had to make up. The other day in my maths lesson I was fine talking to others and just doing my work when the teacher commented on a piece of homework that I did. People started to say that they hadn’t seen it or it was good and I feel my face get a bit warmer even though I didn’t feel embarrest at all (which always happens anyway) I didn’t really want anybody to see this piece of work that I did so when somebody said that they hadn’t seen it I kind of pretended I was listening to somebody else. I didn’t realise that the teacher was still behind me so it was a bit scary when I just feel a hand on my shoulder and she bent down and told me not to be embarrassed which I wasn’t anyway, I was a little confused but I got redder in the face. I do get embarrassed easily however I can talk to a teacher or somebody who is friendly towards me and doesn’t always pick on me for answers however if it is one of those teachers I feel awkward and embarressed and then I go red, I have tried many things to stop it but nothing ever works. I don’t know what it wrong with me… :’)
I hate that my face gets red when I talk to people, or when I teach. It’s embarrassing, but I am trying to ignore it and hoping that it just goes away on it’s own someday. I’m 37, and it’s been happening my whole life, so I doubt it will ever just go away. Thanks for this well written article. It’s nice to know I am not alone!
I’m 44 yrs old with a wife and two young boys. I’ve always worked for people I’m familiar with to avoid the redface embarrassment. I’ve even spent the last two years in Africa working with my brother inlaw but could not handle missing my wife and kids. Now we want to move to Florida and I have to try and get a job. I’ve been in management but again with friends or family business and now I have to try and find a job and I can feel the heat in my face right now laying in bed and talking about it. I’m clean cut and have been told attractive so it’s not looks not that that matters but I dreed the interview process since I never had to do it.
My job in Africa was the General Manager of a mining company with 178 employees which I didn’t have a problem because I was put into that position, I actually made the position for myself and it worked. Now I have to start over and I’m feeling very depressed about having to interview in order to get a decent job to take care of my family.
I’ve struggled with this my whole life and it’s held me back so far it’s mind blowing. I could have done a lot more socially and career wise if it wasn’t for this issue. I have no choice but to deal with it. The only thing with South Florida that benefits is I can tan my face to hide some of the redness. I’m always red on the cheeks but in social situation it just heats up.
People tell me they get embarrassed and that’s why they are shy but they don’t turn Red and in my mind I envy them because if they only knew how lonely and depressing this is they might be more outgoing, I know I would be.
Anyway good luck to everyone dealing with this issue and keep pressing forward…
You all are speaking my language here on absolutely every account. I’ve experienced it all time and time again. It is depressing and it keeps you down, not being able to really progress in life and having to choose other paths ( work related as well as physically running from a space as I knew the red was coming). Propanolol has helped quite a bit and I use that when I know I’ll be in situations of close proximity with others where I can’t naturally get away ( restaurants, music jams, meetings with several others in a room ). Eredicane worked for the first month but failed me repeatedly the next month. Someone here mentioned a hypnosis track so I’m going to look into that right now. Thanks to all for sharing.
I get red in my face and it stoped me from a lot of things in my life sometimes I want 2 talk 2 my husbands mom and sister but then im thinking no ill not cz im just now going 2 become red in my face so then ill just go sit in my room
Hello I’m 15 years old . And I’m onestly glad that I’m not the only one that blushes . I’ve had this as long as I remember .the worst experience for me was when I was 12 and I was at a school trip for 5 nights with my school .And there were about 8 girls around a circle table eating , and the man that worked there asked me why I wasn’t eating (I didn’t like the food) and the whole table looked at me , and one of the girls asked me why I was going red .but then my friend changed the conversation . It went away for a while , but it has recently come back , I think it’s the teachers fault since they aren’t as friendly as some of my previous teachers . The worst one was about 2 days ago . when the teacher asked me a simple question and I turned red . I immediately covered my face and looked down at my table . And when he called my name ,waiting for my response , I tried to think of an excuse .and I said I had a headache . And then he said Ohh do you want to leave the class room . But I said that I would be alright . But I’m trying to find away to come over this . It’s ruining my life , I feel like I can’t do anything anymore . It’s stoping me from living my life
Eleanor, your focus is your reality.It is not as bad as your mind is telling you it is.I am 41 and have WASTED much 25 years of my life on this fear and ego driven condition.I stopped playing basketball in high school and later because i turned red with heavy excercise.That is frustrating and lame that I did that.I should have just not cared.The universe is in my head, I am not in the universe.
After a while it takes on a life of its own in that worrying now creates memories for the future.That is the main issue for me now.That is from years of worry that lead nowhere and accomplished nothing.Like a residue.I focus on intense happiness, create it, nourish it.Wear sunscreen daily and realize your skin is very sensitive at your age.It can get better.Vitamin creams can help.Rosy cheeks are sexy anyways,that is why girls wear blush sometimes. It is fear and ego , that is all it is.You cannot reason or dance with fear, you must face it, laugh at it, and burn it to the ground. I look back at the time wasted and it makes me realize none of that worry ever led to anything, or was even real.It was a dead end that distracted me from focusing on positive ,beautiful things.Meditation will change your life, make you feel like a god.
I am 23 years old and going to school. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one who has had those kind of incidents in class. A couple of days ago I turned really really red! It happened in school and my face and chest became really splochy and reddish. I was just sitting in my chair before class started and I felt someone staring at me, then I felt really hot. Before I knew it my face was really red and my fellow classmates were wondering what was going on. I felt like crawling under a rock, but after it happened I just went on with my day trying not to feel discouraged by what happened.
I guess the best cure would be to mingle a lot with people and not just cut yourself off from those around you. You may get red every once in a while, but it will pass and it you get on with your day as best you can. I tried to just keep to myself but it doesn’t work because once you start to meet new people, you will just get red every time!
I recently started to be social and am starting to hang out with this guy. He is just a friend, but I have gotten red in front of him about 2 or 3 times already! Sometimes it can happen randomly, but I try not to feel bad about it afterwards. I think it is because I usually don’t have guy friends, but I am trying something new.
You should just live your life the best way you can and to not let this blushing problem hold you back from trying anything new.
It is refreshing to know that I’m not the only one with blushing problems! I am 23 and I have lived with this blushing problem for a while. Just yesterday I blushed 2 to 3 times! I just couldn’t stop and it was around people I’ve been going to class with for a while now. Sometimes it can randomly happen and after it does occur I feel like crawling in my bed and never coming out!
Hopefully the hypnosis exercise one of you guys suggested will help! I just downloaded it and can’t wait to try it out. I’ll will try anything at this point! I just don’t want to feel like this anymore and it is holding me back from the things I can do with my life.
I want to become a registered nurse and I don’t want this blushing problem to overcome my life as well as my career. Hang in there guys, we reds got to stick together:)
Hello my name is Sheldon I’m a 22 year old male I’m posting a comment on 20/05/2015 my birthday is on 09/06/2015 that’s soon.
Today i got red in my face about 3 times from different people at my work
and i really hate it all my life already it makes me so angry when I’m finish with the redness and the person is away from me but let me start with telling you why i get red or why it feels like i do
well first i come to work everyday in the week and to some people i get red to I’m saying to my self “don’t come talk to me today” “Don’t come talk to me today” because i know ill get red as soon as that person talks to me and bam when they speak to me I’m all red in my face and i really hate it just like they say your telling your self you gonna get red in your face when that person talks to you or something and then when they really do you do get red and its not fun at all
sorry maybe for tiping so weird but I’m at work at the moment and today i don’t feel good about being here because when i get red i get really hot and all of a sadden ill start sweating in my face and my hair will get wet even though my hair is so short and my problem why i’m here today is because i really wish there is something i can do to stop this because i’m scared it will make my life harder then it already is.
also i readed up that you can get red because you have negative thinking about your self and its also true because i gym for a while and my redness stopped for a bid with that same people everyday but then i stopped because of my money and now my redness problem is back atleast there is something i know what to do but i don’t have the money at the time
if anyone out there can help me please message me back and thats so much for this article i will try my best to not even listen to my self but that is one problem I’m born on june so my star sign is a twin and it feels to me like i have 2 sides of my self and i do whisper a lot in side of my mind
🙁 thank you and have a nice day
hello Sheldon! im a girl aged 17 years old and i feel reallyy compassionate about your story, because when i read it i felt that u were almost taking about me , i also blush a loooot and it sucks because it holds me back from every opportunity in life!! i just watched his video so maybe it will be helpful for you:
please take a look at it and hopefully we will both get out of this poblem soon. greetings!
Thank you so much for replaying on my comment,Normally no one replays on my messages i leave on a random site, I did look on this site a few times if someone replayed so i stopped because i though no one reads here anymore.
I’m sorry for only replaying now, Like i said i didn’t know people still replays on this site.
Again thank you for replaying
I’m at work today and i wanted to say something again after reading your message. I’m Still getting RED! 🙁 its sad but true,Yesterday 27.07.2015 at my work place at Volkswagen the floor manager asked the worker is he still going to the shop to buy food for him self the worker said no hes not going to the shop anymore, So the manager asked me Am i going to the shop and i already went to the shop but i didn’t do anything at that moment so i thought it would be nice of me to say ill go for him because I’m not busy so he just came near me and started talking. What do you think happened i got red in my face again or it felt like it so i looked down at papers etc. and try take my mind of it,it worked for a bid but in my mind its damaging me slowly.. because i just got hot all over my body and almost started to sweat again of the redness its like a panic mode for no reason…
same happened Last Friday i worked half day wanna know why? the date on Friday was the 24.07.2015 well all week last week i got red all over my face for no reasons and for stupid reasons… well let me tell you why i worked half day that day it was my boss birthday and it seems like my boss likes me not in a gay way because I’m not gay.. like he can see I’m a hard worker and i’m really trying to impress everyone by working hard but this redness is getting me down and it feels like its making my life really bad and worst, well it was hes birthday and he invited everyone to a lunch and he came and ask me if i got the email. So i said yes i did for some reason he only came and ask me if i got the email ???? I don’t know why he only asked me so i guess he really wanted me to come to the lunch on friday on hes birthday he sended that email to me on Thursday. So Friday came and i tried every reason to not go to that lunch because i know if someone is gonna talk to me I’m gonna be the joke of the table around all my workers and i cant let that happen so i went home for the day straight after they went for lunch…..
Sorry if I’m tipping like a fool I’m still at work and i don’t want someone to see me tipping about my problem
The reason for telling you this and for everyone that reads my comment is because my redness is taking over my life because I’m to negative about my self and my life..Its making me lose so much Opportunity’s in my life just like you said Yosra I could have went for the lunch if i didn’t have this problem i could have tried making my name so well and maybe even get better promotion or even a better job.
The reason why I’m so Negative is I never did thought about my self a lot, I lost my mom on 25.01.2010 she took her own life by hanging her self i was only 18 then and I’m 23 today let me tell you something thats something i don’t wish on anyone on earth to lose there parents this way I’m a lot closer with my mother then anyone els on earth and i lost her, it feels like you lost everything and you don’t have a reason even to be on earth anymore i had a lot of problems after that also suicidal thoughts even cutting our own wrist but at least the cutting stopped but not the thoughts but it got better after the years.
i don’t know if this may be the reason I’m having this problem as well because i’m not a expert on it.
I’m still trying to get rid of my redness problem and also i think its because i’m self aware that I’m having a bigger problem
So Yorsa I hope you listened to my story and understand \
Again Thank you so much for your replay and also thank you for the you tube video I’m gonna watch it on my phone now because i cant watch it on works computer.
i readed your story Yorsa and let me tell you one thing i learned about people so far
it will always feel like someone is watching you reason for that is because they are feeling the same way they feel like everyone is watch them so thats why they look around and your not making a fool of yourself its all in your mind and as long as you can get something out of your mind and think about something els or do something els keeping your mind busy this should work.
I’m always better on giving advise then taking my own advise and normally it works for other people, I know what you mean about if people get the picture of you redness it worst for you and harder to change but remember so many people don’t even see this problem as it is or as it feels for you. Try getting this out of your mind that you are getting red did you try Gyming Before like i said on my Early message?
This really works for me and i hope it works for you!
Please do and go join a gym also We both will get out of this someday
( You wont be a blusher always )
i’ve been always been a shy person i always blush even in ordinary situations i blush out of the blue , i guess the main reason that i blush is because i feel like everyone is looking at me and im just making a fool of myself , it’s definetely because i lack self-confidence and it sucks , people get this picture of me which make it even harder to change it ..I guess i lost hope to alter this vision of myself ..i will always be a blusher
I notes if you reply on someone’s post they get a email i think in there junk box or normal emails any why i reply on yours now so you can read the one you posted on my message i commented back again
Hey guys, my name is Harry and I’m a 15yr old boy. I’m a relatively good student at school, i get good grades etc., so naturally i get picked on a bit. This would not be a problem for most people, but… any mention of my name WHATSOEVER, and BOOM my face goes as red as a beetroot. It could be a teacher asking for my answer in class or someone trying to piss me off but i always go bright red and I constantly get bullied for it. This problem is destroying my life, and even people I don’t know will come up to me and say things like “Oh hey tomato!” There are some points where I feel like hitting someone would be a good idea but I know the embarrassment is just clouding my judgement. Please, if there is anything I can do to stop this I am willing to try almost anything.
Good Day Harry
My name is Sheldon i’m 23 years old take a moment and read my comment and message at the top its 2 above from yours
Any why Harry I still have my problem but i do know what to do and what can work Yorsa also gave me a video if you go read my comment you will know what I’m talking about now
this is the video link she gave me
take a few min and watch it,its not bad because its true
Any why i have some tricks of my own
Harry try and join a GYM like i told Yarsa as well
GYM DO WORK!! positive 100%
Reason for this Harry when you gym and you get build or not even build it does not matter the reason is your body is giving your brain cells to make you confident like you get self esteem you get positive feelings and life
just because of gyming when you even get build you gonna feel extra positive of course….
How do i know harry?
Well read my comment i did gym before and it worked for my redness problem when i blush ! i blush everyday
all you need is confidence your problem will go away the
problem is harry like mine i talk to much to my self in side my mind so when normal people speak to me anyone speak to me i will tell my self when i’m starting to just git a bid nerves I’m gonna turn red after that my body gives of heat like incredible fast and i start feeling i’m getting red and then start to sweat for that reason and the point is if u are just your self and have confidence it does not happen the reason for this is happening to you is because your telling your self negative stuff your mind is on it and your mind is on turning red so it happens you need to stop telling your self off or being negative start being positive and be your self because god made you who you are
GOD MADE NO ONE AS A MISTAKE ! GOD MADE EVERYONE BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
plus everyone will stop bulling you if you start gyming i’m not gonna come and tell you dont fight because i did it a lot before and never lost a fight before so the feeling for my self in fighting is positive i like it in a way to fight but i stopped because its wrong a lot wrong and yes of course there is a great feeling when you win a fight it also gives you confidence to see your self in that way
but there is no point of fighting it wont work for your redness ( blush)
trust in god and in your self Go to the gym work out and start living a life ! enjoy my friend let me know back how it is going
Hello my name is Sheldon.
Well i have send message on this web page a few times now and i was waiting for people to replay also well Yorsa and Harry
I have some good news !
My problem is going away slowly not that slow but i think its still there the point is what I’m trying to say is i told my self I DONT NEED TO GET RED FOR NO REASON GOD IS WITH ME AND CAN HELP ME AND I CAN HELP MY SELF!
well every time i feel like i’m getting red and normaly i would say you will get red now or I’m gonna get red now i can feel it in my head then i do get red….. Now everytime i feel like I’m gonna get red i take a deep breath with out people seeing me doing it i just take a deep breath then slowly let it come out… and tell my self your not getting red!!!
i build up confidence about my self like i know i can do this my redness stopped for now!!!! I’m really happy about it also this page did work a lot and yorsa Video as well but i already knew it was no confidence etc. Also i know if ill get back in the gym my problem wont return ! normaly i didnt want people to talk to me now i do want them to talk to me at work i’m not sceard anymore for turning red and thats how i win my redness ! i hope you guys also win!! let me know back how its going!!! Remember when you get confidence your redness will stop!
Can I just say that it is the freakiest thing every reading you comments the thought process that you go through is exactly what I do! I tell myself that God is right there with me as well! also I do the exact same thing as you I have constant conversations with myself in my head.recently I have been running into trouble with my anxiety as well and it prevents me from doing a lot. I would agree that exercise helps because during soccer season when I play it does not occur as much. Its weird because I can pinpoint the time that I started having the fear of blushing because it was when one of my teachers asked me about the school I had gone to before and since a had a very traumatic experience at my old school my emotions sky rocketed and I got beat red. For like a month after that I was soooooo freaked out when anyone looked at me or anything just because I would get so worked up in my head that that would happen again and although it is better that it was before i still get freaked out at times.
On Question I have though is if anyone has a problem where they get EXTREME anxiety when a doctor listens to their heart or something, I have that problem but it only started after my whole extreme anxiety incident and I guess its is because I started to freak out like omg they are listening to my heat omg they can tell its beating faster and then like I just freak out for no reason. It sound kinda stupid but it really freaked me out and is very upsetting to me that I literally talked myself into having like an anxiety attack over something so stupid. This post really helped me because I felt like such a weirdo but know I feel better about it.
Hello, i occasionally get red in public or at family get gatherings. I hate it also because prevents me from excelling. i am glad there are other people like this. i actually have made some observations though. I have found when eating pizza or pasta make sure you don’t overeat. Pizza is a complex carb so it slowly digests over time. Drink plenty of water as well. I have found your diet plays a role in whether your face gets red. I noticed indigestion causes this problem also. i agree with dont try to look cool or act cool thats another trigger.
Thanks so much for posting this ! I’m happy I’m not alone with the ”red face” syndrome, and it’s not when I’m in public but when someone asks me a question who is not related to my work, at work, we could be just two and I turn red and there is no reason, I’m not embarassed or shy, it just happens… But thanks I feel comfort in knowing I’m not the only one.
Very comforting knowing this! I have been dealing with “red face syndrome” for a long, long, long time! Like many of the people on here, I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed, it just happens. At my job I give orientation once a week to a group, to two groups of 4-5 people because I think that the more people that are in the same room as me, the more my face will be noticed and then BAM! My face turns all red. I mean it gets very very red! I am still trying to figure out ways of getting passed this but I am very much so struggling to do it. I too sometimes would have someone approach me and I would get asked a question and there would be no harm or anything meant by the question and all of a sudden I turn red. When I also go to approach someone, not all the time but if I go to approach or there is someone by the person I am going to approach, my face gets all red. Even speaking about all this I can feel my face turning red! haha! But in all honesty, I really dont want to take any pills or anything like that to help with this. I really want to rid this myself. I guess I always new I wasn’t alone with this however, as far as where I stand now, I really don’t know anyone else personally enough that is going through the same thing which I think is making it a bit more difficult for me to understand…if that makes any sense at all? But reading some of these comments does help out! So I am glad I found this!
Thanks for sharing this as I’m a 15 year old red head who will get a red face at such a simple thing as hello. Embaressment, conversaions and people that im interested in all give me red faces and drives me crazy and no matter what i tell myself it wont go….
thanks yall im 13 and get crap like this all the time in my classes like in advanced ones when i dont know what the answer is. My friends just make jokes and laugh with me but those who dont know me and teachers kinda back off when this happens especially when their joking. I still get a red face when my teacher just calls on me, it has been really bothersome,because really its been happening for as long as i can remember in school and when people accuse me of things and my face turns red. I guess yall understand this so thanks for posting this.
I have struggled with this for almost a year now. One second I can be fine and thrn BOOM someone asks me what my favorite color is or what was planning on doing today and I was done for. It’s so embarrassing. I have a job interview to be a pharmacy tech tomorrow night. I am 20 years old and currently wait tables. I am so nervous and my biggest fear is aboit my face getting red when I’m in a room with one person or 2 getting interviewed and all attention is on me. Once it starts to get red it just keeps going! This has helped. I need to listen to questions and engage in the conversation and not think in my head too much. Thank yoy for your posr
That was just what I needed to read.. Very well said. Good on you! I have recently been experiencing the same kind of thing but not so much my face more my neck and chest.. I have been living in Australia for the last few years and only started experiencing it over there and have just moved back to Nz and it’s been happening quite a lot.. I have been so worried about this and sometimes it’s all I can think about when I see people for the first time after so long.. And half the time I won’t even have it I’m just paranoid.. Sometimes I get it for no reason at all and then someone will point it out and I get so embarrassed.. It sucks. But after reading this I feel so much better so thank you and the advice is so true.. I will defiantly be taking it on board..
It happens to me…always. When I’m tired, confused, nervous, complemented, scolded, arguing and the list goes on and on. Some say its kinda cute but most of the time I feel its giving away my feelings. It seems that I have no right to hide my emotions because you can see it all in my face. Sometimes I just don’t know anymore what triggers the blushing, it just happens. Someone will just shout “oh your face is red again”. And they will all laugh. It’s already affecting big time.
Hi my a son is 12 he’s struggling with his face going red at school he’s getting bullied because of it making him very anxious. He says he hates it I’ve tried lots but he too young to do mind over matter etc he’s just overwhelmed at the time it happens. Breaking my heart to see him suffer.
My face turns red at the most ridiculous times! I’m not even afraid of public speaking or doing presentations, I’m afraid that I’ll blush.
Last night at work I was rolling bread and my boss who I’ve become comfortable with came in to talk to my coworker and for some reason I became beet red! I had to drop what I was doing and leave the room. Hopefully they didn’t notice but it was so embarrassing 🙁
I thought i was the only one. Im 17 an this happens to me every day im in school at lunch time. i can barley eat cause my face gets so hot an red . its so embarrasing . an i dont even care if people watch me eat . but when im at home , it rarly ever happens . but i cant go out to eat an enjoy my self around a crowed of people an having just a normal converstation without my face turning red. i just really hope it stops soon .
This has become a depressing thing in my life.. I don’t know who to talk to or what to do.. Someone who knows my can shout my name in a supermarket to come over and talk to me and instantly I’m dark red in the face ☹️ It’s getting me down.. I avoid meeting people or going out because of it.. Iv tried creams and foundations but nothing seems to work.. I’m scared in getting a new job because of this..
I feel the same way, but I get more frustrated then upset…
I’m 46 years of age. from the age of 15, I have suffered from this so called earthropia you talk about, what interested me is the fact you mentioned. Someone asked if your an Albino,? Are you pail skinned like myself. Also my condition only happens twice a year!.
Oh gosh, this kinda helps, but I have problems with anxiety and nervousness. Especially when I’m in front of my crush or around a friend I’m afraid that I’ll look werird or bad in front of them.
I’m a very outgoing person though and when I blush around people I’m comfortable with, I own it.
But it’s different with people I don’t know….and even people I do know!
And now that I’m 14 im more aware of when i blush and when I do something embarrassing.
I’ve been looking for ways to stop my blushing completely, to the point where I’m so desperate I might want to buy those pills
Huh…. Now finally i got people who arr alike me…. Blushing every now and then…. I mean i blush almost all the day round but sometimes its okay but many a times I feel like hiding my face…. I blush when am happy my face face turns red when i cry when i dont do anything then also i blush… I wnna stop it for sometimes….!!
Just today. One of the tenants paid his rent and as I was trying to write the receipt, he was joking around and my face went all red on me.
It’s embarrassing, and when I think about it, it makes it worse. It’s hard not to think about when your face feels like it’s on fire.
Hello.This article was really motivating, particularly because I was browsing for thoughts on this
issue last couple of days.
Im at high school now and whenever a teacher asks mw to read something out or do something in front of the class my face goes red, alot of my friends joke about and lots of people make fun of me. I’ve stopped things i loved like drama because of it
Okay I’m 16 in middle school my face never got red , I was very out going talkative I literally talked to anyone and everyone I wasn’t shy at all then one day I decided I needed to focus on my grades n stop talking to ppl so I stopped talking to ppl kept to myself then 8th grade came and I decided I needed to be social agin and talk to ppl but also keep up my grades then the teacher calls me Infront of the class now usually I wouldn’t be scared to go in front of the class but for some reason I was nervous and my face got red and ever since that day it never stops and it’s getting worse like it will happen for stupid reasons like seeing my ex boyfriend That’s dumb I know and I need help!
I forgot to mention I’m in high school now I’m a junior
Hi, great reading this article and all the comments. I’m 36 years old and my blushing has been getting worse not better. When I was young – school, university and starting my career – I never blushed and was so confident. This is something that has got worse over the last decade or so. You would think that you would get life sorted as you got older and wiser right?
I would love to be that smooth and calm guy in all the movies that never flinches when the world is crumbling around them. Truth is, I’m emotional, sensitive and also a little self-obsessed! I take myself too seriously! I overthink everything. In fact 90% of my conversations have already happened a number of different ways in my head before I actually have them.
I have a senior position in a successful company. I MC and speak regularly. Everyone thinks that I am confident but little do they know what goes on in my head. Like a lot of the examples above, just a simple conversation or a ‘standard’ question can just freak me out. Then I spend the rest of the conversation trying to calm down when all I want to do is run away or stick my head out a window.
I will meet a new person and be having a great conversation and they will ask what I do for a job. Suddenly I will be struck down with red face.
I will be socializing where alcohol is involved and I will tell myself “don’t forget that red wine can make your face go red” My face will then burn hot with the thought of this. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I haven’t had a sip of red wine yet!
I will enter a space where there is a source of heating – a heater or a fire place – and I will think “you may get too hot and go red in the face if you chose a seat close to the heater”. Too late. I’m already flushed at the thought!
As you can tell, I don’t pretend to know the solution. But here are a few things I have found help.
# Listen to the person you are with. Not yourself.
# When you feel it coming on, do the opposite of what you feel like doing! Stand up! Take the stage! Bring attention to yourself. You will overcome it and not let it win.
# Be honest and humble. It’s when you exaggerate or stretch the truth that it can often be worse. In fact, be raw and say something very personal to ground yourself.
# On a practical level, wear layered clothing so you can take off layers to ‘cool down’. Avoid too much alcohol or caffeine as what goes up must come down.
If you are like me then closed in spaces can make it worse. If this is a constraint, chose to meet people out in the open.
Hiya guys! I’m a 20 year old woman. Very outgoing and all that! I use to hate my face going red, or rosy cheeks, in school. It’s like you can feel when it’s about to happen, right? And then you’re like ohhh noo! … The thing is, it’s a natural thing. I’ve been secretly undercover paranoid about it for years. I guess it’s not as bad now – but that’s only because I wear make-up! I started wearing foundation/make-up and it made me feel so confident and myself with it. I just wasn’t bothered anymore. But now I’m addicted to makeup and can’t leave the house without it! I left the house with no makeup in for the first time in years the other day!! But, nowadays, I’m not too fussed. It’s all in the mind. If you’re thinking about going red, you’re gonna go red. Don’t think about it. Don’t worry about it. Forget about it! I know it’s so hard and such a horrible thing, but don’t let it ruin your life!!! Don’t be bothered about what people think! So what if your face goes red? It happens to loads of people! And besides, a lot of guys like it. I know it’s hard but it gets better. Just don’t think or stress about it and you won’t really be bothered anymore! Embrace it! Love your life and be confident! And don’t rely on makeup like I did because it becomes an everyday habit then, and natural is best! Love your life and go out and be who you wanna be, red-faced or not! No-one cares, only you! Don’t worry about it! It gets better, and that’s only if you let it get better!
Ok, oh my goodness all u people!! It’s the same thing with me!! I’m not embarrassed about what’s happening AT ALL, I’m just worried about turning red. Thankfully my friends are pretty cool about it, which helps a lot. But it still happens pretty often in class or in a one on one conv. But it’s sooo true, just try not to think about it too much. And if someone comments on it, just be like, ya I blush pretty easily, and then move on. Being honest about it really helps me to get over it. But unfortunately, yes , once a blusher always a blusher. I was so encouraged about that one girl who said she had that one incident at school and turned red, and then it never went away. THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO!!!! Uggh it’s really annoying, but honestly, it’s totally not worth getting too upset about. It’s gonna happen if u freak out about it, so try not too. Anyways I’ll stop ranting about this. I’m just sooo glad I’m not the only one, like all of u guys have said.
It sucks 🙁 I hate it because I don’t usually blush when I’m shy or when I see or talk to a cute guy my face turns red when I talk to a family member or friend about a new job or something very exciting that happen to me my face turns red because I feel like they think I’m trying to sound better then them.. it’s hard to explain.. but is mostly when I have a simple conversation where it leads to awkwardness .. and also when someone says something stupid or talk to me about showing off my face turns red because I can’t stand how people can be that way or think that way :/ what can help me calm down? 🙁
Why do people feel the need to draw attention to it? It makes it even worse. I try to look away and ignore them.
I have some green face cream that reduces redness and although it’s only make-up and doesn’t really work to a great extent, I think it somehow gives me a bit of confidence which helps me psychologically to reduce it happening. If I go red, I’m not *quite* as red as I otherwise would be so I can fear it a bit less? It’s mostly a placebo but it helps a little.
Thank you for creating this article. I thought that no one else was like me. I’m a senior in highschool right now and I don’t know how long I’ve had this. I always dreaded presentations, speeches, and even just talking to people. Even though I LIKE talking to people. I love to sing as well, and I was given a solo in my choir class, and of course, my face turned red. Sophomore year in English I had so many speeches-one of them I remember quite well. After I finished and sat down this girl whispered to me, “Your face is beet red!” Ok, when someone points it out, that is NOT encouraging. I wanted to punch something, and honestly, why would someone say something like that after you present? Who knows. I realized that inconsideration is in this world-and the Golden Rule is not put in place. Turning red really gets me down. But I am not giving up, and I am doing my best to get involved in getting up front of people-and in my case- singing up front as well. Thank you for the tips-I have told myself that no matter if I turn red, I am still me. I am going to keep forcing myself to get out of this phobia, and I encourage everyone who gets down about this to not give up. Start telling yourself that you can do it-because you can.
I’d like to meet someone like me. When you aren’t embarrassed but your face turns red anyway. I’ve been reading all the comments and there are people my age out there that are like me in a way! Thank you Kelsey!
It is almost summer for me and then next year I will be a senior. I feel exactly the same as you! I love to sing as well. Just thought that was cool haha. But anyways yeah I don’t understand how some people can just mention it like that. Obviously since I am suffering from this I know how it feels to have people say something. I know better than to say anything to anyone if they were to start turning red. They just don’t understand how it feels to be the one receiving that comment and don’t know the embarrassment they are causing by mentioning someone’s red face. Like what good is that going to do? “Oh thanks for telling me. I had no idea. I’ll just magically make it stop”..smh…
Its interesting to watch my friends say to another friend when talking about a crush or something, “Your face is so red” because I’m just sitting there like…But its not even? What color does my face get then? Purple? Because my friend’s face won’t even be red and they will say it is. I think some people say it just to make the other person so that they WILL blush and subtly embarrass them.
I am so happy to see all of these comments! It is so nice to know that I am not alone because, although I am only 17 years old, I feel like I have had this red-face issue FOREVER! It affects me every day.
At school sometimes I find myself staring at people while they talk just to see if they will turn extremely red so that maybe I’ll find out that I’m not the only one with this problem, but no one ever does the way I do! So then I start thinking something is wrong with me. But obviously there are other people out there who suffer from this…they just seem to live elsewhere in the world…
I always feel so uncomfortable and awkward at school and work because I know my face could turn red at any moment. Lunch is the worst time of the day for me because I hate sitting across from people. Just the thought of them being able to look straight at me and fully notice my face just makes me get super uncomfortable. And I always end up saying to myself in my head, “What if your face gets red” or “your face is going to get red. Watch. Here it comes.” And BOOM. The heat spreads on my face quickly and just the thought of people noticing me makes it that much worse and I feel humiliated and embarrassed.
I also HATE walking passed people, like down my school hallways. Its 10x worse when its a guy I like, find attractive, or text. I just mentally freak out and my face turns super red and I can feel the heat. Oh, its so horrible.
Sometimes I can’t even feel my face turn red and I’ll just be having a normal conversation with friends and then the worst thing happens. They straight up tell me my face is red. I don’t know about you, but for me, that is the worst thing because it is quite humiliating. I think it is very rude and sometimes I find myself getting very angry when someone points it out. In my head I’m just like, “yes I am very much aware of this issue of mine. Thanks for making it twenty times worse”..
And of course there’s those common moments where I won’t even be embarrassed or be put under really any stress and just the slight thought of my face turning red instantly makes it do so. It’s definitely proved to me that this is all in my head. I am somehow in control of my body and unintentionally am able to turn my body red and hot.
Another thing that bothers me is when my friends, family, and even boys tell me “Oh its fine. Blushing is cute.” But this is not blushing! This is turning red! I have warned a few guys that I had talked to in the past about my face turning red and they always said it’ll be fine. Its cute when girls blush. But I made it very clear that there is a difference between “blushing” and “turning red”. In my case, it is certainly not cute. Very embarrassing actually.
Ohmygoodness I could write a book about this issue because it affects me so greatly! I feel like I would be a very outgoing and likable person its just the fear of my face turning red that makes me shy and keeps me from getting certain new jobs or doing anything new with my life! Sometimes I have to wear a shirt that covers my chest because kids make fun of me for it turning red during a presentation or something. Too bad I can’t hide my face too…
I hate CHANGE because of this…I am only 17 and here I am, complaining. But I have spent TOO many nights crying over the way I am and hating myself because of this and I really just want it to go away. I just want to be like everyone else and be able to live my life without being held back by this embarrassing and noticeable problem…
And since I don’t have much money at the moment, I can’t buy the hypnosis track and I am apprehensive about buying things like this anyway because it might not actually work and might just be a waste of money. But then again, if I want this problem solved, I’ve got to try…
Sorry for making this really lengthy haha
Hey I know how you feel! My face turns red and people point it out to me, too. Yesterday I was in a normal conversation, someone asked me a question that was easy to answer, and for no reason my face turned red. The person pointed it out to me and they were like “omg are you embarrassed” GOOD GRIEF! I think the best advice is just to think to yourself “my face will turn red today, and when it does, I’m just going to keep on talking” it doesn’t matter if people ask you why your face turns red because if they can see it doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother them either. I think that once you accept that it will happen, the fear will go away which will eventually cause the redness itself to stop happening on a regular basis.
i may be young, (i’m a teenager) but my red face is my biggest insecurity. people ALWAYS point out when my face gets red in school or another public place, even though i can obviously feel it! it has kept me from being the confident and social person i want to be, and i sometimes struggle carrying out conversations with teachers, adults, or even students my age without my face turning bright red from the slightest hint of uncomfort or embarrassment. people don’t really understand how much of an annoyance and inconvenience it is to be blushing very often, since i am very easily embarrassed. not only this, but i’ve heard of people who simply avoid conversation with me because my face may get red when the talk to me, even if it’s nothing they’ve done, i just get red sometimes. i’ve looked up many ways to possibly limit or “get rid of” my blushing, and so far i’ve basically been told that i should just embrace the redness, but how can i embrace it without having the other person point it out or without having myself feel quite uncomfortable. (note: i feel like a lot of the time, my face only gets red because if i get embarrassed i think, oh shoot, my face is about to turn red, which causes it. how do i stop myself from always thinking that???)
Hey! I have the same problem. Often times I think to myself “what if my face turns red” which makes it happen. The only way to stop this problem is to accept that it will happen. Instead of freaking out and saying “what if it turns red” say: “my face will turn red, and that’s okay”. What works for me is telling myself that even if my face does turn red, I’m not going to let it get to me. Once you get used to that fact that your face might turn red, it will actually stop turning red as often. I hope this helps!
“how do I stop myself from always thinking that”– if you figure that one out, please let me know!! This is like a quintessential self-fulfilling prophecy, for me. >_<
It's incredibly rude that people point it out to you (as if you don't know it's happening), but even worse that some people would avoid you as a result? In the business, this is called 'ableism'– it's a form of discrimination against a person because their body/mind is viewed as being 'abnormal' in some way. Erythrophobia, like other kinds of natural psychological and physiological reactions, can't be helped. It's just how we are. Anxiety, phobias, physiological reactions to stress or fear, etc. should not determine how people treat us, no more than using a cane, a wheelchair, or a therapy dog.
The reality is that some people are still going to be judgmental and unempathetic, no matter what… I hope we can all find ways of coping in a society that is rarely tolerant of (even small) differences.
Thank you so much for this post! This is the first article I’ve read about blushing that doesn’t attempt to diagnose me with “anxiety disorder” or some other type of scary label. I was always confused as to why I can easily stand in front of a crowd to sing, or speak, or even dance and feel absolutely fine; yet on rare occasions I find myself blushing in the middle of a conversation for NO REASON. This post was very encouraging and I’ll take your advice and put myself in more potentially “blush zone” situations in order to overcome it. Thanks again!
I agree with the OP (original poster) about this being a ‘mind over matter’ issue. However, I don’t know to what degree those two points of advice will help me… I am 30 now, having been dealing with this all my life (just found out today, though, that it has a name!). At times, it has been so horrible and humiliating that I thought I would quit my job if I didn’t lose it first. It happens all the time– when I laugh too hard, when I exercise, when I’m angry, embarrassed, during sex, etc. I would say half the time it’s happening, I either don’t notice or I feel safe enough around the people I’m with that I don’t care. But sometimes when I notice, it’s the noticing that compounds it to the point of being intolerable. ‘Humiliating’ barely covers it. And continuing to socially engage feels like torture.
The fact that this comes and goes in lesser or strong waves seems to tell me that this problem gets worse depending on the severity of my anxiety in general. The last couple of years have been almost pure anxiety, as someone close to me died and I worry (irrationally and constantly) about the loved ones left in my life. If I’m not worrying, I’m having a panic attack; if I’m not having a panic attack, I’m flushing like I have a sunburn; if I’m not flushing, I’m worried that I’m *going to* flush. Vicious, self-replicating cycle!
The worse it ever gets is one someone points it out to me, or worse, makes fun of me. It’s like there’s no way to stop it then, because the other person (or people’s) attention is focused on it. Recently, it has gotten bad again because someone pointed it out to me, and even worse, she associated with a co-worker– insinuating that I was “blushing” because I have feelings for this person. I was furious after the fact that she thought it was okay to say something like that to *anyone,* but now every time this other co-worker she was talking about shows up, I immediately start turning red. My partner pointed out to me that maybe he doesn’t even notice, but I still worry about it– in fact, I anticipate having to see this person and it gives me physically painful anxiety (even though this is actually a pretty nice person!). I tried to be proactive by mentally preparing myself and then going to *his* office to engage him in conversation, which always goes well. But the minute he ‘surprise attacks’ me in my own office, my face gets flushed.
Like the OP, I get furious with myself for not being able to control it… I just wish there was a ready solution, but the more I read, the more subjective people’s solutions and suggestions seem to be. I must say that I found it comforting to read the comments here (and elsewhere)– seeing how many others struggle with this helps me feel that this is not just a personal weakness or shortcoming, and maybe it is even something that can be overcome– eventually!!
Thanks for the post and for everyone’s comments. <3
I’m in high school and I can’t stop going red it’s horrible and so embarrassing. I am such an outgoing person and love talking in front of big crowd but even if one person says something to me that isn’t even awkward I go red.
You described my exact issue. I can speak in front of a million people, and I’m fine. Get me in a room with one person I don’t know, and I am the color of the shirt I am wearing today. It’s terribly embarrassing… and I am 33! When someone asks a question I’m not sure how to answer – red. Or asking about my life in general… Or bringing up a topic I am insecure or have had a rough experience with… It doesn’t even have to be a new person! I worry about it every time I know I am meeting someone new… and sure enough… I turn red. And once I’ve turned red in conversation with someone, I remember it, and then I am red again. This thing plagues my life. I found this blog in my search for a “cure” – and am honestly tempted to click the link to the pill to fix it. It’d almost be worth it, to be honest. It is the one thing I wish I could overcome. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this problem…
Hi , my name is Sydney I realize how old this post is but hopefully you get this message..
I am a beautician and the first time someone told me my face got really red and it affected me was a year ago. I had a client who was acting unusually rude and I responded to her by saying ” I am a professional I’ll take care of you the best way I can” and she didn’t like that so she ran to the front desk and in front of everybody yelled ” that lady back there is very rude and I’m never coming back”. After that people said your face got really red” and I felt so defeated by showing that a strange lady just got to me ?? I tried to brush it off and still realize how hard I worked to get here and that I wasn’t going to let anybody tell me I wasn’t proffesional and let it get to me. But after that I was so scared of my face being red I thought about how embarrassing it would be again if it did. I know it is all in my head but I do feel so depressed like why don’t I see what value I bring into my life, rather than being so scared of a person telling me how red my face is. My fear is them looking at me weird then walking away and then I’d be named that weird red face awkward girl. I suppose most times I don’t feel to professional feeling in fear and definitely when meeting new people and speaking in public
Hi I’m completely understand how you feel in that moment,things like that happen to me all the time I believe everything is just in my mind, I’m happy to read this because now I know I’m not the only one with this problem it make me feel very unsecured and also I forget the things that I have to say despite English isn’t my first lenguaje i truly believe my problem is since many years ago I called ecenic panic.
i thought i was the only one that had that problem. I guess not. i can’t control it and i really dont know what to do. Also because of that i cant have conversations with other people. Can’t be around people i always get red. DON’T KNOW WAHT TO DO!!!
I’ve surrendered to the fact that I might always be a blusher. And this surrendering helped me a lot actually. I don’t care as much anymore. Great article. I’ve added your page to one of the best on my site. https://wyzy.com/en/whereamiwearing.com/
I’m 33 years old and whenever my husband says “aww, you’re blushing” my face would turn even redder. Striking a conversation with a complete stranger is not a problem for me. I join in on conversations, say my contribute during meetings even though my face would always turn red whenever I talked. No biggie, I’ve gotten used to it. I even use ‘red’ as a nickname sometimes. But there are certain situations that I truly avoid, such as public speaking and party games. Those two things make me anxious.
Anyway, reading the comments here made me feel like I am not alone. I’ve never thought of my blushing as a disorder or a problem, it’s just a thing that happens to my face. But last thanksgiving dinner, every time my face turned red, it would immediately be followed with ‘oh look, she’s blushing’ or ‘aww, your face is turning red’, which of course would make me even redder.
That frustrated me which is why I’m here. The article helped though, so thanks!!!
My last time was today while getting taught Korean by this new guy.
I say that I’ll ignore it and I try to interact with people for this sole reason, so I guess I will get better, huh? This problem is weird for me though. I think it started appearing only in 8th grade, and I’m a 10th grader now, so.. It’s strange because it just started happening more and more. I just hope people ignore it and don’t judge me.
Today my manager came to say hi and see how i was doing. And that’s all it took I was like “What is wrong with me?!”
I blush when undivided attention is given to me. I cannot stand to be the center of attention. Once I blush it embarrasses me so then I blush more. I think I just about turn purple it is so bad. I try not to speak alot of times so that attention is not turned towards me.
Also, I work in the dental field so often I’ll only speak if my mask is over my mouth and nose.
My face turns red easily if I think about the fact that my face might turn red. If I feel unprepared or caught off guard. If I feel confident or I simply do not care or over think, then no problem. I am very humble, some might say meek. If I approach a situation with more of a take charge or ftw attitude then I am fine and it won’t happen. Although I will say the moment I think about it, it will happen.
when i talk to someone i don’t usually talk to, my face gets red. when i hear my name in conversations, my face gets red, when i laugh, my face gets red, when people laugh at me my fave gets red but when i’m doing a presentation in school my face doesn’t get red but my voice and my body start to shake, any tips on how to cure it?
Me too also but I’m in high school like when I go on stage my face gets blood red and I start to get hot and sweaty also
So sorry to hear this,
its an awful condition, it has controlled my life for around the last 25 years.
I cant talk to people, eat in front of people go shopping, go around friends and familes places. without going red.
You name it I tried it pills, makeup, councilling, tests, scans but nothing was teaching me how to stop blushing
I started writing about my experiences over at my blog, please dont consider ETS surgery I was so close to doing that but found this hypnosis treatment helped me.
I hope you can kick this awful condition I think its an individual thing so many ways to help out there just got to find the one that suits you
I am 60 years old and have a very good job. But just today and last week when talking to groups of people my face got very red and neck splotchy. I’m so tired of this! I am going to try beta blockers. Have others tried those? I truly believe this issue has held me back professionally. I get so self conscious and feel ridiculous!
I’m so glad I can relate to people about blushing!
I’m in my teen years and about 2 years ago I was the most confident girl ever!
Ever since I went to high school, my face just turns REALLY red. It’s terrible and it happens so often, and over the smallest things too. I just had a conversation longer than 3 sentences and my face went red, I hate it.
I’m very insecure about it and when someone points it out, I want to cry and punch that person at the same time. My science teacher LOVES to point it out to the whole class. I feel so bad about myself afterwards.
They say, “Why is your face so red Maggie?”
I just hope I grow out of it 🙁
Well, thank you for the comment section for my little rant, it did help 🙂
I know right, ever since i entered high school my blushing has gotten more horrible its all i think about when im in it.
I wasnt like this before, this past summer i went to mexico to visit my family and when eating with them i was scared to talk because i would blush, i know its so dum, my FAMILY. I lived with them in mexico but came to the US to study and every summer i go to visit them.and this would never happen because i would never think about blushing every single second, im glad im not the only one.
But please someone help. Thanks
Hi im luis and im also a blusher this started to get preety bad when i entered high school, before that i would blush but not overthink it and say mean things to myself.
I would be in a classroom table, and if i feel like someone is looking at me my chest starts getting red and then my face.
I know this sounds so dum, but its true this last summer i would blush when talking to my FAMILY which later on i would think to myself that why would i do that, that would never happen before. Its school where my anxiety is at its peak , and to avoid lunch i would go to the bathrooms and stay there till i finished.
Please someone help me its really ending me and i want it to stop.
I too often become red faced when in an anxious situation. Its like your inside feelings are getting exposed to someone you dont want to. It happens in a place where i want to be more confident and hell I end up becoming more red faced and the person to whom i am talking become amazed at this my junior out of
I too often become red faced when in an anxious situation. Its like your inside feelings are getting exposed to someone you dont want to. It happens in a place where i want to be more confident and hell I end up becoming more red faced and the person to whom i am talking become amazed.At this my junior also tell me mam you have become so red. It becomes more inducing knowing that its noticeable. Gosh I just hate it.
Hey Luis , I agree with u, I too tend to avoid these situations and want to be in my comfort zone because of this. Sometimes I think I should accept the fact that ya I am a red faced chameleon. 😀 It helps me thinking like it 😛
I am 38 and always been a blusher . I only have to speak to someone and if someone else is watching I go really red.
I get red, in times when I’m in a awkward social situation. I try turning my head, or tieing my shoe, its something to “distract” me; it’s something to calm me down from welllll embarrassment. I’d rather look weird than being that blushing bashful red tomato. It’s nice I’m not the only one.
I’ve been blushing all my life and now I’m 61. Crazy I know, I do handle it a little better now. Come to find out it runs in my family as well. I can tell you it has definitely held me back in life, which is sad to think about.
One time while at a pizza restaurant with my team from work (15people) I started to feel anxious. Then all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with redness and heat pouring out of my face and I had to escape. I got up and walked through the kitchen and out the back door so no one would see me. Turns out the back area was closed off with 6′ cement walls except for a drive way that led back out to the front of the restaurant. Well I could not risk my fellow coworkers seeing me so I jumped over the wall and went home. The next day no one said a thing to me.
I laugh about it now but it was terrifying at the time. Life goes on…
My face was perfectly normal until age 16. Then certain things started triggering redness, like just a busy day at work (even though I wasn’t stressed or embarressed) or a warm car or sunlight, and my face would blush terribly. I started wearing foundation to cover it (just normal foundation, not color correcting or green tinted) and it truly has allowed me to live life with confidence… except that my skin is sensitive type, so when I remove the foundation, my cheeks and chin are constantly red and flare up way worse than they ever used to. I even switched to the highest quality organic foundation (Sappho brand) and the purest, most expensive cleanser (Pai brand) and these make my skin better feeling than chemical stuff, but it’s still red. I hate spending all this money and feeling like I’m trapped into this for the rest of my life, but to me it’s worth it over constant stares, weird looks, and comments. I just look at it as a necessary expense now. The high quality foundation really blends perfectly into my skin even though I don’t apply it all over my face, just the redness prone parts. Nobody can tell unless they are really looking close at my face.
This problem feels like a curse but it’s nice to know I’m not alone I guess. I really admire all of you who find the strength to live your life like normal even with this quirky condition. I’m just too insecure and feel the need to rely on foundation to keep myself looking normal. The huge plus is that I don’t hold back from certain opportunities because I am confident my face is totally not red, and it ain’t gonna show any red because of the foundation, so really it’s even more foolproof than having “normal” skin because there’s no chance of a visible flare uo, even if I’m genuinely embaressed.
Im actually 13, a couple of days away from being 14, but every time I do anything, and I think there are people watching me, I become so red. It usually doesn’t help that people always call me out in school and yelling loudly “how are you even turning red, you barely did anything!” That usually makes me turn even redder than I already do. I try to accept it and call myself names like Tomato boy so I can stop turning red and have people laugh with me, instead of at my face. It’s not like it makes me sad or depressed or anything, or at least I don’t notice it. Well anyway, I guess I’m gonna end there, this kind of feels like an online AA for people who get red all the time.
Hey y’all, I’m 14, and in middle school. Before 7th grade I was that one kid who would volunteer for everything and never get embarrassed. Now I have this blushing problem that’s so bad I turn red at everything, even when I’m talking to my close friends. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m blushing until one of my friends are like, “Your face is so red right now” Which of course makes me turn even redder! Also I’ve been feeling super anxious which is weird because I have nothing to be anxious about. I can’t even talk in classes without turning red, and when I go to classes like social studies, where we always have class discussions, I get so anxious, even though it’s just social studies! Yesterday my social studies teacher just LOOKED at me and my face was like a tomato. It’s so bad, my palms get really sweaty too and my eyes start to water. The weird thing is before 7th grade I raised my hand for basically every question, then for some reason I just stopped, not because I was anxious or anything, but just because I didn’t feel like answering. Then I started to realize, Oh I gotta start volunteering more, so one day I just raised my hand to read aloud out of our textbook and for some reason I got so stressed and my voice sounded really wobbly. I got embarrassed by that, and my face turned insanely red. Every day after that I’ve had that blushing problem and it just keeps getting worse, even though I’m in 8th grade now. I keep trying to overcome it, and thankfully it hasn’t been getting worse, but it hasn’t been getting better. Yesterday my teacher called on the kid sitting next to me and I turned uncontrollably red. My friends keep teasing me about it, and I try laugh it off, though my face turns even redder. I’m just really confused to why this is happening because I didn’t have a problem like this before!!! Anyway, thank you for this article and posts, it makes me feel like I’m not alone here.
Okay so I use to work at this very productive job for teens which was door to door. It was a commission job and as for commission you need to have excellent skills for taking,listening, and of course communicating. Before I knew it it was the best job ever that had given me all those wonderful life skills at the age of 15. It taught how to listen to people very well,talk to them, participate in class (I was a very quite girl who always walked with my head down),keep my head up, etc, just being out there. All of a sudden I turned back to my old self and I hate it, I feel mean and rude and can’t hold a conversation. I now have a job in a restaurant and when I talk to people it’s very weird, I feel my face turning red and I just can’t talk to people anymore. I try so hard to be the person I was but I just can’t. That person I was, was everything I wish to be at the age of 17 almost 18 I feel very sorry for myself for being not mature of enough from what I was 15 years old. Because that girl truly cared, she was honest , and nice. She knew how to talk to people and socialize if I must say. Now It just feels like nothing like if I’m nothing who’ll someday regain that strength and motivation. In my mind I say I’ll be that girl I was but I jst say it but don’t do. I feel like a kid for some reason, but I’m just a teenager who lacks herself. I know that I shouldn’t be in a hurry to be grown but it’s not about it it’s about being who I was once in the present. I jst want to be socializing with people but I just can’t because of what’s been growing on me. I try to make talk but anxiety has the best of me.
Im a senior guy in high school and I used to volunteer for stuff and raise my hand in class all the time when I was younger but now I try to avoid that stuff as much as I can. I was thinking about when I first started blushing and I know for a fact I blushed a lot in 7th grade because I had this one math teacher who made me really anxious. Every time I was called on in that class my face would turn so red no matter what she said. Even if She just looked at me, literally even in the hall way i would blush seeing her. Anyway idk if I blushed before 7th grade i cant remember. But now as a senior in high school its really getting old. Someone will say something to me and it wont be embarrassing or anything in the slightest but my face still turns red. Even around my immediate family sometimes it will get red. Its made it very difficult to talk to girls. I have a lot of friends that are girls but i cant take a chance on trying to hook up or date them because im too anxious/scared. And with college in a few months (if corona ever goes away) I really would like it if my face would stop turning red. Ive become so self conscious now because im always worried about my face turning red. I always overthink things and shit now and i feel like I would be more likable and outgoing if my face would just stay one fucking color lmao.
I. feel. you. dude. Same thing happens to me. I feel like it’s holding me back from progressing. It’s not who I want to be or who I feel like I am inside.
I just want to say that I love everybody that is on here! We all go through the same thing and nobody else gets us but us! Lol.
Is terrible, it happens to me not just on my face but also on my chest. Whenever i have to speak in public i always wear a scarf o a turtleneck sweater. Last experience was a few days ago, during a zoom meeting where we were around 20 something people. A co-worker decided it was a good idea to joke about me out of nowhere, insinuating that i was falling to sleep because the face I had at the moment(really inappropiate since we dont have that much confindence, and also he pas putting me in this situation where I was being exposed by a silly comment), and not just that, he just said right after “Ok I’ll just shut up since your face is turning red”. I felt so humiliated!!!! He was saying that in purpose in front of everybody. They don’t realice how point that out like that, specially when there is more people around can affect someone…I was pissed, but i’m strong and i can get over it. But you never know who are you talking to and how those comments can affect someone.
I don’t like it every time i’m talking to someone my face just turns red,even when i talk to a girl my face turns red. How am i going to be able to date someone if my fast gets to red to even talk to someone. does anyone know how to get rid of this please help me.
Going on dates is stressful anyway, so I can only imagine it must tough to have to worry about blushing as well. I think as you can see from these comments there is no easy fix to this. You could take medication to help with anxiety, which would relax you and help prevent you from going red. Otherwise the best thing to do (which is a lot easier to say than do) is stop letting it control you. Start putting yourself in situations you know you will go red, practice techniques to breath slow and really listen to the conversation. If that doesn’t work then just start accepting you will go red, own it! You can say to people I have a tendency to blush easily, or ignore me I will probably look like an tomato at some point in this conversation. Or say nothing, practice just going red on front of people and try not to let it panic you. I hope this helps you. Also some girls would find you being nervous on a date sweet, and once you get to know them more, you should relax more.
I am so relieved it’s not just me! I think I always have gone red easily, even as a child. However it got a lot worse when i was a teenager. I was telling a story to my mum and brother, it was bit embarrassing so I went red, and I just remembered my brother really teasing me about, he kept saying ‘oh my god you’ve gone so red’ ‘i can’t believe how red you’ve gone’. Ever since then I have been anxious about going red. It mostly seems to happen when eating, I guess it’s a mixture of the food I am eating makes me hotter, I then panic I am getting hot and will go red, because I am panicked and hot I go red.
It is a really horrible experience because you literally can’t stop it once you start. But I think this post has helped me realise I just need to own it. I need to start saying ‘ignore me I am just hot’. Maybe need to tell people I have a tendency to blush when eating. Thanks for the post.
I just wanted to say what a really good comfort these posts have been to me today. I felt that I had reached the end of my tether this afternoon after a visit to a friend so thank you for sharing and I send you my best wishes. Please don’t get down – you are definitely not alone! I haven’t had too many episodes for a while.
I am in my late fifties and have always struggled with flushing. I agree that makeup can and has helped, as for me, it seems to even out my skin tone so I started doing this as a teen. (My skin is very sensitive to hot rooms etc too.) I conversely enjoy a bit of amateur acting in plays and I am always interested in people. I’m a good listener too but I totally identify with this odd dynamic in one’s head that can easily bring on a complete colour change. It creeps in that it might seem odd, mightened it, if I for no reason turned puse…..and there it is! I try to keep a sense of humour about it but I had a summer off the shoulder dress on today and I must have looked like the Cluedo piece(Miss Scarlett!) It grew from my chest to my neck to my face and I was so light headed – I didn’t know what I was saying. I contend with hot flushes anyway because of my age and seem to be able to bring those on at will too. At least I can blame it on that I suppose.
To a certain extent I avoid situations that I know might put me at peril however I do agree that it is probably a sort of CBT thing that we all need to harness in one form or another because I really have managed to break the cycle sometimes, so take heart! It was once when I had gone to a lot of time and trouble to host an event for someone else. It had really come together well and I just thought: No – I’m not going to be the flushed one today -enough is enough! I felt really cross and must have reached some sort of exasperated ceiling because it worked :):) We have just as much right to take part in life and make valuable contributions without being anxious about our capilliaries all the time don’t we! I think it probably helps to write it down too because I’m feeling better already 🙂