Great publicity idea #1: Author shoplifts own book

I was in the local Books-a-Million yesterday talking with the manager about setting up an event around the release of my book. I took in an advanced copy to reinforce that, yes, I had written a book, and here it is.

“Is it a print-on-demand book?” he asked, as he searched for it on his computer.

“No.” I never know how to respond to that. I mean it isn’t a POD, but, still, I kind of find that offensive. I don’t want to come across as if publishing by the POD method is beneath me, but what about me makes this fella, and a host of others that I’ve met, assume that a publisher wouldn’t have paid me to publish my work?

Is it the flip-flops?

Or, perhaps, my inability to pronounce the word worm? Although, I don’t think I used the word yesterday. Did I say, “Bookworms will love it?!”

Or, is it because I refuse to learn the difference between effect and affect? The a(e)ffects of worms on zombie brains is grossly under-studied?”

He looked the book up on the computer and seemed surprised that BAM would be getting it in. All I needed to do was contact him a few months before the Big Day – December 1 – and have them get in extra copies for the event.

I thanked him, and browsed a little before heading for the door with my advanced copy still in hand. I felt a bit awkward.

What if someone stopped me?

“Excuse me sir,” I imagined one of the booksellers would say. “Did you pay for that?”

Here’s the response I settled on, if asked: “This book cost me over 10 grand and two years of my life. Any chance I can return it?”

They didn’t ask.

But here’s a thought…

If an author shoplifted their own book, would that be good publicity? Or just stupid?

Any of you who are authors, give it a try and let me know.

Add a comment
moonrat says:

ten grand and two years. teehee. you’re funny.

Melissa says:

It is interesting that people go to POD first–I mean, they could go the other way. It is much more flattering (and less snooty of the person) to say, “And the book is mass-distributed, correct?” (or whatever the best way to phrase the other option is) and the author says no, it’s POD. I’m glad it was in the BAM computer, ha ha!

Tact. It’s a fine art and it seems to be disappearing.

Kelsey says:

Moonrat, I guess in a way my book, even though traditionally published, likely cost me much more than most PODs. Eventually, there was some return, but for a long while this project was pretty red.

Melissa, In this fellas defense: it’s not like Muncie, Indiana, is overflowing with authors or anything. Of course, I’m sure there are probably way more than I realize.

daltonzahir says:

i like to say that frm bangladesh,
pls send your book cover and i will revw. for you , and we published in newspaper . and people will look for it . and bangladesh have Book fair in feb 1st to 28th 09. we sale to the book fair , there is lots of people come into the fair. pls send some book also for the fair ,
for published give me the book cover , its urgent . i can o for you .

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