This hotel room has lots of stuff…


…2 fire extinguishers in it and 8 more waiting outside.

…2 fire masks so, in case you use all 10 fire extinguishers and there is still a fire, you can dawn a mask and, instead of passing out from smoke inhalation, you will be fully conscious as you burn to death.

Fire Masks

…2 nightstands with switches. I am truly the master of my domain. There is not an appliance or light that I can’t control simply by rolling over.

Night Table Control Center

…midnight phone calls: “You want girl for massage?” I guess it’s hard to find a hotel in these parts where “massages” aren’t offered at all hours of the night. And NO I didn’t get the midnight massage. …

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