Lamest marketing lingo of the day

“For the price of one cup of coffee you could be a published author.”

This appeared in an email from Writer’s Digest. Hey, if it worked for the starving kids in Africa…wait…they’re still starving? Huh, it’s bad when you have to steal someone else’s marketing angle. It’s worse when that angle was used to save starving children and it didn’t even work.

Also in the email…

“We promise the only jitters you’ll get will be from seeing your name in print.”

If only it were that easy. If only you had to pay $3.99, which is an expensive cup of coffee in my book, and you didn’t have to actually go through the pain and suffering of writing and the rejection that comes with it.

The stupid thing is that I’m already paying $3.99 a month to them and have been for quite awhile. It would have been best for them if they hadn’t reminded me. Now I think I’m going to go cancel my membership, since it hasn’t led to one single published article. The site is useful, but I don’t really use it.

What gets my goat is that there are many people that take advantage of aspiring writers. Aspiring writers are vulnerable and, unlike actual writers, they have money to spend on books, online courses, and websites.

When it comes to Writer’s Digest and Writer’s Market, I reckon that they are the best place to start for an aspiring writer and probably take advantage of them the least. But to go with the Sally Struthers marketing angle is pretty poor, so I would like to offer them a letter of rejection:

Dear Writer’s Digest,

I appreciate your email ad, but unfortunately at this time it does not meet my consumatorial needs. Know that this in no way reflects the quality of your ad, it’s just that I get so many other ads in my email. Thank you for thinking of me.

Sincerely,

Kelsey