Today’s writing exercise: Rolphing

If only I would have discovered Rolphing before I finished my book. I’m sure it would have taken my creativity to whole other level. Matt Sloan and Aaron Yonda of Chad Vader fame spoke at the conference this past weekend and introduced a room full of middle-aged women to rolphing. Some of the women may have thought it was funny. I thought it was hilarious.

Anti-gaters unite!

We have a -gate on our hands, and you might remember that I’ve vowed to put an end to all -gates.

This one is Nannygate and the object of my ire is ESPN journalist Jayson Stark. While blogging at the Clemens-McNamee hearing, he used “Nannygate” in reference to the controversy of whether Clemens’s nanny kids and himself attended a party hosted by Jose “Juiced” Canseco.

Stark’s misdeed:

1:36 p.m. ET
Nannygate erupts again.
Rep. Tom Davis asked Clemens to clear up how he came to invite the nanny back to his house last week and we learned from Clemens “it was great to see her.”
But as the Nannygate questioning rolled along to center around whether Clemens’ family was at Canseco’s increasingly famous party, Clemens did suggest he came to “believe the nanny was there with my kids.”
As for him, though, “I was on my way to the ballpark,” Clemens said, voice rising.
“I know one thing,” he said. “I wasn’t holed up with somebody trying to do a drug deal.”
Another fine sound bite moment for Clemens. He’ll take all he can get.

I will do everything in my power to insure that Mr. Stark ceases to use -gate. In fact, I just posted a comment on his blog. I’m sure he’ll read comment #3502 and comply immediately. Here’s my comment:

Mr. Stark,

The silliness must stop. Your use of “Nannygate” in this posting is an embarrassment to all that is Journalism.

My non-profit organization strives to rid the world of any use of the -gate suffix to refer to a scandal. Such usage is overdone, uncreative, and annoying. Please stop this before some famous person scandalously hops a gate, steals a gate, or is hit with a gate and we are subjected to the Gate-gate scandal. And if that famous person was Antonio Gates, the Pro Bowl Tight-end for the San Diego Chargers, we’d end up with the ridiculosity that’d be Gates-Gate-Gate scandal. And if that took place at the Watergate Hotel…

Well, You get the idea.

We will follow your writings closely in the weeks to come. Any other mention of “nannygate” will likely result in more pointless comments. And no one wants that, do they?

Respectfully,

Kelsey Timmerman
President/Founder of the Anti-Gate/Anti-litmus test Organziation (AGALO)