Kelsey | Kelsey Timmerman

And the winners are…

By Kelsey

I had nothing to do with selecting the winners. I just handed you the clues on a silver platter, especially that last video where I say Honduras several times.

The good folks at Wiley, my publisher, just emailed me the names of the randomly selected winners.

The grandprize winner of the HD flipcam and Frommer’s guides is Melissa Markofski, a longtime follower of my blogging exploits. Congrats Melissa!

The runner-up winners of Frommer’s guides are Phillip Bohning and Simon Tatum. Yes, the Simon Tatum of film-making fame.

Thanks everyone for entering. There were nearly 400 entries. Special thanks go out to Diana Bernardo and Larry Olson of Wiley for scheming up this idea and providing the goodies, and to all the awesome folks at Rule29, the best darn designers west of the Fox River!

Where is Kelsey Contest

Where in the World I was…

By Kelsey

After 8 weeks of clues and guesses it’s time to reveal where in the World I was….

Honduras

I visited Honduras in 2005 on what was to become the first leg of my “Where Am I Wearing?” adventure. I spent a lot of my time on the Mosquito Coast trying not to be killed by crazy biologists and deadly venomous snakes, playing soccer on a sandbar, and teaching an island village the game of baseball. In general, other than my brother coming down with malaria I had a lovely time in Honduras and met some great people.

But since then a lot has happened to me and Honduras. My book was published, I got married, and a daughter followed. Honduras was hit by extreme flooding and a coup that left their president standing on a runway in his skivvies in Costa Rica.

I’ve fared much better than Honduras the last few years, so I thought I would give the country some love. It deserves it. You have one little coup and people start canceling trips. It takes a long time to win back tourists after such negative press. Ask Bosnia, which has amazing scenery and beautiful hikes. I just checked the State Department’s website and their aren’t any “don’t go” warnings. So go.

If you go, you’re going to need a guidebook. I know that they sponsored the contest and I’m somewhat obligated to say this, but go with Frommer’s Honduras guide by Nicholas Gill. I haven’t used it myself, but it’s new as of October 2009, I’ve used other Frommer’s guides and found them more than adequate and shiny, and I’m a big fan of the work of Nicholas Gill.

Go for the jungles (not the snakes or Malaria) along the unexplored Mosquito Coast. Go for the diving off the Bay Islands. Go for the Mayan temples.

I went because that’s where my favorite T-shirt was made and I had a blast.

I’ll announce the winners of the contest in the near future.

Where is Kelsey Contest

Where is Kelsey? (Final Clue & a special guest)

By Kelsey

This is it, the last clue.

I’m joined by my brother Kyle who accompanied me to the country you need to guess.

After I give the clue (the country in question is where my T-shirt was made) Kyle shares with us what it’s like to contract malaria in _____ and come down with it in France.

And if you’re not sure where my T-shirt was made, all you have to do is read this sample from “Where Am I Wearing?” (PDF) to find out.

Where is Kelsey Contest

Be a small part of microfinance

By Kelsey

I lent $25 to a businesswoman who runs a food stand in Cambodia through Kiva.org. At least I thought I did.

As it turns out, the money didn’t go directly to Mao Yan whose grown children work in garment factories. Yesterday I learned this in a column by Ron Lieber in the NY Times:

KIVA When you sign up to be a lender at Kiva, your money does not go directly to the entrepreneurs whose requests appear on the Web site. Instead, a microfinance institution administers the actual loan.

Often, these Kiva partners engage in what a Kiva founder, Matt Flannery, refers to as “pre-disbursals.” In plain English, that means that borrowers get their loans before their appeals appear on Kiva’s site. So what happens to your money if you lend it through Kiva and direct it toward a particular project? It’s often used, according to the site, to “backfill” the money that Kiva’s local partners have already lent.

However, whether or not I get paid back depends solely on Mao Yan’s ability to repay. So far I’ve received $16.80 back. Go Mao Yan!

I’m a little disappointed that this is the way it works, but, more so, I’m embarrassed that I believed I could hand a worker in Cambodia money with a few clicks. I guess I never thought about the logistics that this would require.

Lieber writes, “…to fulfill such a promise completely, people would have to collect requests for loans by hand, translate and post those requests on the Web along with any supporting photos or videos, wait to see if lenders finance them, distribute the money to the field partners and then wait for the partners to make loans to the people who requested them, many of whom live far away from one another.”

If you’re interested in Microfinance, give Lieber’s column a read. He highlights several groups that run somewhat differently:

KIVA – You don’t really get to choose who your money will got to, but who be repaying you.

MICROPLACE – You could actually sell this one to your significant other as an investment. A return is possible.

MODEST NEEDS – Doesn’t accept loans but donations. This is a tax write-off (remember when people actually needed those?)

DonorsChooose – Choose a classroom project in a public school to fund.

Neither barrower nor lender be? Bah humbug! Lend away!

Giving Back

Where is Kelsey? Final Photo Clue: T-shirt Factory

By Kelsey

Wearing my favorite T-shirt in front of the factory (in the country you need to guess) that I write about in Part I of my book “Where Am I Wearing?” My wife hates my hair this long. Apparently so did the security guards at the factory.

Next Wednesday I’ll post the final video clue in which I’ll talk about my factory visit.

(Warning sponsor and self-pimpage!) Hey and if you’re looking for something to spend all those bookstore gift cards on you could do worse than a host of Frommer’s guides and of course a copy or 10 of Where Am I Wearing?

Where is Kelsey Contest

Where is Kelsey? (Soccer on a sandbar)

By Kelsey

Another video clue in the Where is Kelsey? contest.

Where is Kelsey Contest

Poorly Made in China

By Kelsey

Earlier this year I got an email from Paul Midler. His book Poorly Made in China was about to be released by Wiley (my publisher). He’s a first-time author as well and we’ve become quick friends talking about first-time author experiences — things like how to best fight off mad hoards of groupies. (If you must know, I prefer to let my wife do the bouncing and Paul prefers to play dead.)

And then I read Paul’s book.

Sometimes when people say that a book changed their life, they’re just blowing smoke. In the case of Paul’s book, I mean it.

I was at the grocery charged with buying ingredients to make homemade pizza. I found the dough, the sauce, and then I was searching for canned mushrooms. I found them. They were made in China. I wasn’t buying them.

The same goes for Juicy Juice. Annie bought some for Harper and when I saw that it was “Made in China” I told Annie that we weren’t giving it to Harper.

It’s one thing to wear clothes from China, but it’s a whole other thing to consume something from a Chinese factory. Paul worked as a liaison between an American shampoo company and the Chinese factory. By the end of his liaisoning, he wouldn’t even use shampoo that was Made in China!

Paul’s book is definitely on my list of best books of 2009. It didn’t only take me behind the scenes of the shenanigans that I suspected were going on in Chinese manufacturing, but it was also a lot of fun and funny. So, I was absolutely thrilled when I heard that Poorly Made in China was selected by the Economist as one of the top books of 2009.

I was almost as thrilled as when Annie found some canned mushrooms that were made in the USA. I love me some mushrooms on my pizza!

It just so happens that I have an extra copy of Poorly Made in China. The first person to leave a comment stating why or why not they don’t buy stuff made in China wins it!

Update: @tvspike1 was the first to respond via Twitter for the win.

And if you haven’t decided how you feel about “Made in China” here’s a commercial that has run on CNN:

Engaged Consumer

The divide between self-perception and reality

By Kelsey

John Mayer makes weird faces while he’s riffing. When asked about it, he said something like, “I thought I was making a cool face.”

Obviously there is a divide between the mental perception of oneself and reality. With that said, here are some photos of me taken while speaking at Menlo High School near San Francisco.

This Writer’s Life

Amen!

By Kelsey

A lawyer/dinner guest made the mistake of asking teacher, Taylor Mali, what he made. Awesomeness ensued.

Mad World

A Boy Named Kelsey

By Kelsey

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,

- Johnny Cash, “A Boy Named Sue”

My name is Kelsey and I’m a dude.

I watch football.

I have more than my share of chest hair — a result of always obliging when someone told me, “Here son, eat this. It’ll put hair on your chest.”

I think someone should invent cologne that smells like campfire or salty sea air.

I cry once every few years. But if you saw me crying, I would imagine whooping you on the spot, but wouldn’t because what kinda of sissy fights while he’s crying.

I drink beer (usually not much more than one or two at a time because it gives me a stomachache).

I spit (if I have something in my mouth).

I’ve one every fight that I’ve ever been in (with a 3^rd grade girl when I was 8).

People often say that I sounds like Matthew McConaughey and he, my friends, was named Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine in 2005. It might have had more to do with his abs than his voice, but still.

Then why is that I’m constantly referred to as “Mam” by customer service people on the phone. “Mam, can you hold.” “Mam, that’ll be one second.” “Mam, why are you so upset.” “Mam, no, I don’t know what rhymes with ‘you’re a fupid sothermucker.” These people have my SS#, the name of my first childhood pet, the name of the street I grew up on, and they don’t know that I’m a dude!

I’ve been blogging for five years now, and I’m starting to get quite an archive of “A boy named Kelsey” rants. Today, I thought I would share my favorite…

-

(from May 7^th, 2006)

For the first 15 years of my life my name was a guy’s name. Now that every other girl born is given the name Kelsey, my gender is often misidentified. When I was receiving info from colleges trying to woo me into attending, I received one letter from St. Mary’s all-girl school located in South Bend, Indiana. I’ve always been a fan of Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies and it humored me to no end thinking about four-years of cross-gendered hijinx.

Over the years I have received some interesting mail addressed to Ms. Kelsey Timmerman, including one letter asking me to join AARP. Still trying to figure that one out. Not only did they think I was female, they also thought I was over 50-years-old. Yesterday I received one of my more memorable pieces of mail, a postcard from the American Greetings Card Company looking for freelance writers to write cards. It was addressed to….

Countess Kelsey Timmerman

Holy hell! I’m a countess!

I think I know what happened here. A few months ago I attended the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop and while filling out the online registration form, I chose “Count” as the prefix to my name. It was late at night and I was feeling punchy and I was cracking-up at the amount of prefixes to choose from. I could have been a Commandant, Commander, General, Duke. You name it. I chose “Count” because I am a huge Dracula fan, plus, it kind of goes well with Kelsey.

Count Kelsey… Wah-ha-ha-ha!

I was bummed when I saw my name tag at the conference - no “Count Kelsey” just plain ol’, boring, “Kelsey Timmerman.” The thing that gets me is that someone sitting at American Greetings company looked at my name on the list of conference attendees, saw “COUNT Kelsey Timmerman” from OHIO, and thought, “Geeze that can’t be right. They must have meant Countess. Kelsey is a woman’s name.”

Which is more unbelievable, that there is a guy with the name of Kelsey or that there is someone in OHIO - land of no castles and or royalty - that is either a Count or a Countess?!?

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