The Most Interesting Man in the World is Interesting

Jonathan Goldsmith, the actor who plays the Most Interesting Man in the World in the Dos Equis commercials, loves Mexico.

On a recent flight on Frontier Airlines I read his “10 reasons I love Mexico” in the on-flight magazine Wild Blue Yonder. At the end of the list the editors added a short bio:

Turns out the veteran actor, who had roles on TV shows like Dallas and Dynasty–plus dozens more–may actually be just a bit more interesting than his commercial creation. Mr. Goldsmith’s next adventure is aboard his 47–foot sloop, which he plans to sail down to the Sea of Cortez to retrace John Steinbeck’s research journey in 1940.

It seems that Goldsmith just might suffer from The Most Interesting Man in the World Syndrome named after the character he brought to life. Sad irony.

The thing is, Goldsmith’s 10 favorite things about Mexico aren’t all that interesting. He loves the beach, people, mountains, etc. Boring! I thought I would rewrite them for him still using his “likes” but spicing things up a bit.

10 Reasons the Most Interesting Man in the World loves Mexico

1. I love the people.

The women want me and the men want to be me.

2. And SCUBA diving as well

I once taught a school of hammerhead how to hunt.

3. I adore the food

If you are what you eat, I’m a hot tamale and I’ll kick your ass and make your eyes water.

4. The Water

Sometimes I walk on it.

5. The Fishing is Wonderful

I pluck my chest hairs, weave them together to make the strongest fishing line known to man. I once caught a great white shark using my chest hair line. It only took 15 minutes to get the shark to the boat. By then my chest hair had grown back.

6. The Sun is Superb

I have no tan lines. In fact, I don’t tan at all. My natural color is dark and mysterious.

Also, my head of hair is so lush that it converts sunlight into oxygen via photosynthesis.

7. The Women are Voluptuous

The Most Interesting Man in the World doesn’t kiss and tell…oh wait…I do. The women break like so many waves upon my sandy shore before fading back to sea out of energy and satisfied that they reached the destination they longed for their entire lives.

8. I also like Copper Canyon

The copper tastes good and the canyon is fun to jump across.

9. And the Mountains

I once shed a tear in the mountains when I saw my amazingly handsome reflection in a stream. The tear landed on the dry ground and a palm tree sprouted. The tree was cut down and sold on eBay for $100,000. A jewelry box was carved from the tree and sold by Lloyd’s of London for $10,000,000. If you think about it, I could raise enough money to end world hunger with a few good tears. Too bad I have nothing to cry about.

10. And the baroness and exquisite loneliness of Baja California

If I don’t spend some alone time with my thoughts, they get jealous. So does the Baroness.