Shoot Me: What good is humiliation if you can’t share it?

I am sick of looking at me.

I just scrolled through 600+ photos of me to select a few for my new Press Kit page. It was my first photo shoot since my high school senior pictures. Maybe I’ll print out these photos and on the back I’ll write you a personal note about how much fun we’ve had these last four years and how I know we’ll keep in touch because we are totally BFFs. Or maybe I’ll just select the goofiest photos and post them below.

Brian MacDonald of MacDonald Photography shot the 600 photos plus my new book trailer. I wonder if his finger hurt as much from snapping shots as my face hurt from smiling. We did have some fun doing it, as evidenced below, but in general I’m spent after 10 shots. After 10 shots when I try to look serious, I look like I have chromosomal-level problem; when I try to look happy, I look insane; when I try to look fierce…ah, hell, I never try to look fierce.

On occasion, I would have flashbacks of watching America’s Next Top Model with Annie and try smiling with my eyes instead of my mouth.

By the end of the shoot I was losing my mind, grasping for anything that would paint my face with a look other than “If I have to smile one more time I’ll pass out.” If Brian would have pulled out a squeaker, I would’ve slobbered all over myself with excitement. If you would have told me the world’s worst joke, I would’ve struck a pose. Instead, Dan (at left) from Rule29, the creative director of the shoot (think Tyra’s Miss Jay), cranked the music and made me dance.

But what good is humiliation if you can’t share it?

Got any strategies of how to be the subject of a succesfful shoot. Do you think of puppies? Do you smile with your eyes? Do you see with your mouth?