Watch the Onion’s report on the Smart Stitch, a garment factory in your hand, which allows workers to work 22 hours day, not just 16!
“Now I can keep working until I pass out from exhaustion,” one worker said.
As the use of Smart Stitch has risen, food shortages have declined, and whippings have leveled off.
“Now that my workers use the Smart Stitch, their whole lives belong to me,” said one factory owner. “I feel like a God.”
(How much fun would it be to write for the Onion?)