Where do I come from?

Darke County, Ohio.

That’s right, I didn’t say a city or a town. There are only 50,000 people in the entire county and a fair amount of them live in the country. They don’t live on streets; they live on rural routes or hyphenated roads between tiny burgs (Hillgrove - Woodington Rd).

Your typical Darke Countian likes guns, is against abortion, and votes Republican.

The Washington Post featured Darke County, in a story today titled: In Rural Ohio, It’s No Country for Democrats.

Some highlights:

- Greenville is the seat of Darke County, which typically ranks first in the state in corn and soybean production.

When I write about playing in flat-fields of corn and beans as a kid, I know what I’m talking about.

- For county Democratic Party Chairman James Surber, it is a place to contemplate the most puzzling human behavior. “I have always said that the three most baffling questions you could ponder forever are: What’s the meaning and purpose of life? Why is Bruce Willis a star? And why do farmers vote Republican?”

I never knew there was another Democrat in the county besides me and my mom. (Yep, Dad’s a Republican.)

- And the way you pull wedgies out is simple — you say it’s a lie.

Okay, that quote is a little out of context. You probably could tell it was because everybody knows the way you pull a wedgie out is to have a good friend stand behind hind you so nobody can see when you reach down your drawers and pick it out. You could lie until your nose was ten-foot long and that’s going to do nada for that wedgie. You gotta pick it out. What does the Washington Post know? Someone should give them a wedgie.

- “I’m a Christian lady and I kind of like that Huckabee, Huckletree, however you pronounce it. And I think McCain is too old. And I like that fella who is running against Hillary, and he was my choice until I heard what he said the other day.” She wouldn’t say what he said. “And I didn’t want a woman. That’s a man’s job being president. I don’t think God put a woman here to run the country. Well, her husband was in there already. They don’t need that much more money, do they?”

God Bless (Help) Darke County.

(I first saw the story on John Scalzi’s Whatever)