China businessman wants to “Supple” me

I’m tired of harder, stronger, longer-lasting, spine-tingling SPAM. So, it made my day when this email landed in my SPAM box:

(Dear friends,
Sorry to bother you.We are a large-scale merchandise wholesaler in China,
Our merchandise such as,Tv,notebooks,phones,psp,projectors,motorcycles,musical instruments ect.Our products are in good quality,but low price,it will interest you.At the same time,we can supple you the direct and quick service.we are legal sellers.
Our website is : www.nyqbw.com
MSN: nyqbw@hotmail.com
Email: nyqbw@hotmail.com
skype: nyqbw1
TEL: +86-15037747598
If you think we are excellent, please contact us.We will serve for you will all our effort.),,

What makes this bit of SPAM so palatable:

- The parentheses are the punctuational equivalent of whispers from a street hawker in an alley with an overcoat lined with knockoff watches.
- Ect.
- I’m always interested in being Supple-d. In fact, it has been quite some time since I’ve been Supple-d.
- “We are legal sellers.” To be honest, I’m not going to lie you, but more times than not, to be truthful, when someone says, they are “legal sellers” they are excellently full of crap.

I’ll pass on this offer from my dear, excellent friend, but if any of you feel like you need a nice supple-ing, feel free to contact him.