I has a Anthropology degree

My roommate from college, who will be in my wedding in a few weeks, visited my home in Muncie this past weekend. I was showing him my office and he spotted my degree from Miami University on the wall.

“I can’t believe you actually are using your degree in Anthropology,” Matt said.

I never really thought about it, but I am. I go places and I hang out with people and learn about their way of life. But still, I’m no anthropologist. I don’t know a bonobo from a lemur. I know zilch about Egypt. In fact, most of the things I learnt, I probably forgot.

During my senior year capstone class we discussed the broader issues surrounding anthro (that’s what the cool kids – not the dudes wearing the Indiana Jones hats – call it). One of the biggest debates with all social sciences is if any actual science is taking place. An anthropologist often must be in the presence of the people he is studying, and his presence likely influences their behavior, thus corrupting the data. The post-modern school of thought acknowledges this and says that when an anthropologist goes into the field they bring back stories not data. The stories can’t be quantified, but can be appreciated for what they are – glimpses of a people at a particular moment. If there is any anthropology occurring in my work, this is it.

But what do other anthropology majors do with their degree?

When I first graduated from college, after a bit of travel, I got a job as a dive instructor. The manager of the dive shop also had a degree in anthropology. So, what have we learned? A degree in anthropology puts you on the fast track to being a SCUBA instructor or travel bum or both. In fact, I once bumped into a former high school classmate working at Wal-Mart who said, “I hear you are a beach bum.”

I was nice and didn’t point out the fact that he was selling shotguns in Wal-Mart, but I could have said, “What else would you expect me to do, I majored in Anthropology!”

All-in-all, I’m happy with my choice to study anthropology in college and even happier to think, “Hey, I am using that there degree on the wall.”

What are you doing with your degree? Where’s your diploma?

Man eaten by bear, my mom’s a sicko

After listening to a report on this story on Bob & Tom, my mom left me a voicemail. Through laughter and giggles she explained to me that a man was found half-eaten in a bear enclosure in Belgrade, Yugoslavia. And as bear maulings often are, it was hilarious.

In her defense, his clothes were unscathed meaning he must have taken them off himself and a lot beer cans and cell phones were found, evidencing the drunk dudes buddies trying to fight off the bears with anything in their pockets or hands that could be used as projectiles. Some friends, they never reported the incident and zoo keeper were surprised to find the torso.

In its own sick way it is hilarious, as is my mom.

PC problems

I need some help. In the paragraph below I refer to “Muslim prayer pajamas”. This is the best description I can think of for the outfits the individuals were wearing. But is it PC? Or is it offensive? I had changed it to “Muslim prayer outfits” but it just doesn’t have the same ring or descriptive aspects of the phrase in question.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

A crowd gathered. Men in full-length Muslim prayer pajamas wearing flat-topped Muslim caps stopped. Businessmen who look like businessmen everywhere except sweatier and dustier stopped. The traffic cop came over from his station in the middle of the intersection.

Colbert’s Word “Made in Iraq”

Last week I posted about clothing MADE IN IRAQ. Is it just a coincidence that The Colbert Report picked up the story on Monday? Or is Stephen Colbert a member of the WAIW? nation?

Definitely a coincidence.

Anyhow, MADE IN IRAQ was featured in The Word. Watch it now (Note: Patience, the Comedy Central’s movie player took about 3 minutes to load on my computer.)

In the report Colbert says:

For some reason Iraq’s economny is in shambles, which means Iraqis will work for practically nothing. This plan will give Iraqi’s the jobs they desperately need and gives us the tube socks we desperately don’t want to pay more than $1.99 for.

I’m a “Righter”

Today I’m continuing to edit the first chapter. I know how to use “there” and “their” and “to” and “too,” but for some reason I still flub them up. Even worse yet, I’ll use “right” when I mean “write.”

Have a paragraph that I think is grammatically okay (a t-shirt to anyone that sees any misgrammaring going on):

The coloring factory was the sweatiest of all the shops. Huge worm-like furnaces with glowing red mouths sucked in long sheets of cloth. The heat helps to affix the dye to the cloth. It was stifling. We watched the teenage boys work through a mist of rising steam. They used wood sticks to help feed the cloth into the furnace.

“A thousand words” Sundays

I declare Sundays pic day here at WAIW?. From here on out expect to see photos like the one below. I’ll list them under the category “A thousand words.”

Made in Iraq

I begin one of the sections in the Bangladesh chapter:

James Bond fought communism. So did my grandpa’s underwear.

Following WWII the US War and State Departments decided to rebuild the textile industry in Japan because it’s a good idea, if you drop 37,000 ton of atomic bombs on a country, to not help them rebuild industries that could easily be converted to the production of weapons, since the people of that country are still probably a bit peeved.

It was important that the USA established strong relations with Japan because if we didn’t it was likely that communist China would.

In the name of national security, the garment industry took its first great leap overseas to Japan. Today, the industry remains at the forefront of the politics and economics of globalization. I heard on the radio this morning that we can expect the Made in Iraq label to appear on shelves this Christmas, thanks to millions of dollars from the US Department of Defense. That’s right. The US Department of Defense is rebuilding Iraq’s garment/textile industry.

I’ll end with another excerpt from the Bangladesh Chapter:

Capitalism and garments spread peace and cheeseburgers around the world.

Moon Dog

Not so long ago, a Huffy and a Schwinn hooked-up. 6 weeks later (the gestation period of bicycles) a green baby bike was born with pearl whitewalls and shiny fenders. Ma and Pa Bike gave her the first name “Moon” because she was conceived during a full moon, and gave her the second name “Dog” because she was conceived….well that’s a little too personal and graphic to relate here. Let’s just say that one night of bi-wheeled, multi-geared passion birthed Moon Dog.

Ma and Pa Bike weren’t ready to handle the responsibility of greasing Moon Dog’s chain and wiping her fenders so they took her to the local pawn shop in Galveston, TX. And it was there that my brother Kyle first laid eyes on her. He took her home and gave her love and WD-40.

Kyle and Moon Dog lived happily ever after.

Gandhi is dead, long live Ben Kingsley

Let me set the scene. I was in the apartment of Bibi Russell, UN Ambassador/supermodel/fashion designer, in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

(From the Bangladesh Chapter, which is well into the not–sucking process now)

I sat in her living room and drank watermelon juice and ate cookies.

Her place was decorated with indigenous instruments of wood and metal. The decorated carriage of a rickshaw stood in one corner. She pointed out a picture of Gandhi and I asked if she met him.

“He died in the 1930’s.” She politely informed me.

“Well, if he would have been alive, you would have met him.” I’m an idiot and nothing I can do or say can change that. Although in my defense, Ben Kingsley who played Gandhi in the movie is still alive.

“Probably.” She said politely.

Not an average day in Ohio

Whelp, I’ve got a weird task today. I’ll be spending an hour or two in a corn field with my “Jingle These” boxers and a video camera making a demo tape. That’s really all I can say about it. But really, isn’t that enough information already?