We’re all Action Figures

By Kelsey

You know that stuff at the counter that you purchase on a whim? Well, China has shopping malls full of that crap.

The one I’m in has eight floors of it to be exact.

There are key chains, mini-flashlights, stickers, stamps, pens, pins, and mini-play pins, laser lights, bouncy balls, and sticky wall crawlers. This place is paradise for a seven year old.

But just when I thought it was all junk, a store with a life size Venus de Milo. Who cares if it’s made of plastic?

And proof that this place just might have for sale everything that has ever existed – A Wally Szczerbiak plastic figurine in a Boston Celtics uniform. I was at Miami University with Wally. He’s now in the NBA and when he’s not hurt he averages 15 points/game. He’s an average player on a bad team, not exactly the type of player I would choose to mold from plastic.

If Wally has been molded into plastic in China, anyone could have been molded into plastic in China. Maybe even you. Maybe Me.

If I stumble upon your figurine, I’ll buy it for you. And you can be sure, if I find mine, I’m buying the store out of them.

I wonder what my action figure would be doing. What would it be wearing? How about yours?

Legacy Posts

June 6th, 2007 | 9:28 am

Melissa said:

Heh-heh! My “action” figure would probably be wearing shirts and a t-shirt (not proper lab safety) and would be pipetting something…maybe if it was a high-end action figure it would come with little culture tubes or something! Maybe it would turn into a whole line. There could be, “Melissa’s kit to culture your own monocytes.” Results would, of course, be sold separately

Hummm….results…need to find some of those…
June 7th, 2007 | 4:44 am

Kyle said:

My action figure would come garbed in jeans, a superhero T-shirt, and with a slight lean to the right. As accessories, I’d have board shorts, the HO phantom waterski, a ski vest, and The Greatest American Hero suit (plus users manual, of course).
June 7th, 2007 | 6:53 am

Lynne said:

Of course one would need a “user’s manual” for a Superhero suit. That pretty much goes without saying. I understand those things can be pretty complicated. Just be sure that the suit allows you to fly right-side-up instead of upside-down is quite a challenge.

What would my action figure be? Kind of a super mom type charachter complete with Frisbee, wiffle bat and ball, books for reading before naptime, along with the ability to do charachter voices while reading said books. Most important; my super hero action figure would have the ability to fly. Maybe she should have a cape of madras plaid. Hmmm… What do you think Kels?
June 7th, 2007 | 6:54 am

Kent said:

My action figure would have cargo shorts (made in Cambodia) a F is for Forshizzle t-shirt (made in Indonesia)and Woffle Stomper hiking boots (used to be made in Vermont, but are probably made in China now.)

And a Canon SLR (which I hope is still made in Japan)
June 7th, 2007 | 8:29 am

Kelsey said:

You are all a bunch of nerds. Not one of you gave yourself a butt-kickin’ super power.

Melissa, you could pipet (crap I don’t even know how to spell it) acid onto evil-doers.

Kyle, I guess you could beat them with the ski.

Lynne, Maybe your madras plaid cape would cause them to become violently ill and the bad guys die of dehydration.

Kent, Your F is forshizzle shirt is “super”funny. I think we should start marketing this puppy. And the SLR could capture souls of ill-intent.
June 7th, 2007 | 2:42 pm

Kyle said:

Kels, boy did you miss the boat. The Greatest American Hero costume gives me a bunch of super powers!! Don’t you remember the show?
June 7th, 2007 | 3:18 pm

Kelsey said:

Yeah, I remember it kind of. But wasn’t he always just running into walls and stuff?
June 7th, 2007 | 7:53 pm

Kyle said:

It was because he didn’t have the users manual (they lost it). As you can see, my action figure comes with a users manual. Thus, I’m awesome.
June 9th, 2007 | 12:37 am

Kelsey said:

Spoken like a true Texan. I’m sure your “powers” are bigger than everybody else’s too.