Dec
22

See Different

By Kelsey

Take a moment to look at my site’s design. See that fancy Made in Label? The hand stitching? The clothing like tabs? The tape?

I love my site.

Justin Ahrens and his team at Rule29 designed it along with a whole lot of other promotional, materials, emails, brochures, and more. Their hard work has helped me reach more people with my stories. If I had to make a list of great things that have happened as a result of having a book published, meeting Justin would be near the top.

We traveled to Africa together with Life in Abundance to work on a documentary about life in the slums. Mainly I rocked my job as the intern to second understudy of the junior assistant grip in training (I don’t know anything about filming a documentary), but I had plenty of time to watch Justin’s leadership, compassion, humanity, and faith in action.

He is awesome. So awesome that he just did a TEDx Talk (above). If you don’t take 20 minutes from stuffing your face full of holiday treats and watch Justin talking about seeing different, I will personally drop down your chimney and steal all of your Christmas gifts, stowing them away in my mountain lair.

And if you like what Justin had to say, you should check out his awesome new book Life Kerning. My review is below.

Life is an art. Turn your life into the masterpiece it should be.

Often a well-designed ad is simply a slight tweak from perfection. In “Life Kerning,” Justin Ahrens drawls on his experiences as a designer and small businessperson to offer easy and concrete ways to tweak the way you work and live. As he states, “You are closer than you think.”

Life Kerning is useful.

I say “yes” too much. After one sitting “Life Kerning” helped me look at opportunities in a new way: Will I have fun? Will I make money? Will I reach an audience that will help spread my message? The next day I was presented with one of those “we can’t pay you what you normally get, but…” opportunities and busted out my yes/no “Life Kerning” lesson and took all the wishy out of the wishwashiness that too often invades my decision making process.

Ahrens makes the argument for establishing an advisory board — a cabinet of trusted peers who will shoot straight with you — and he presents you with steps and guidelines how to establish one of your own. Before I was done with this section, I had a list of possible people scribbled in the margins to ask to be on my board.

Life Kerning is inspiring.

So many business or self-help books require massive change. Stop checking your email! Work less! Work more! Ahrens doesn’t shout at you to overhaul your life or your business. There’s no lesson from “Life Kerning” that isn’t doable. And the knowledge that I’m closer to being a more efficient, productive, and balanced ME, made this one of the most inspiring books I’ve read in the past year.

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Dec
20

Big News! Book #2!!!

By Kelsey

2012 is going to be a busy year. I’ll be picking, catching, lugging, and sorting food all over the world. Check out the official announcement about book #2 in Publisher’s Weekly!

Where Am I Eating?

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Dec
15

In memory of George Whitman, legendary bookseller at Shakespeare & Co

By Kelsey

In 2001 I visited Shakespeare & Co. in Paris. Yesterday the store’s legendary owner, George Whitman, died in his apartment above the shop. When I heard the news, I couldn’t help but think of what I had written about him after my visit:

The old man was nowhere in sight. I figured that when the clock struck noon he dissolved into a billion dust particles, coating many spines and pages, the star of the Twilight Zone episode that would be named the “Keeper of the Books.”

Here’s the full, perhaps a bit cliche, story about my 2001 visit.

The twin black towers of Notre Dame rang in the eleventh hour. The great brass voice gave life to the monstrous cathedral and called to mind the disfigured creature of fiction for which it would forever be linked. I crossed the street seeking sanctuary from the cold.

“You must be here for the Library?” The thin gray hair of the old man fluttered in the wintry breeze blowing across the Seine as he spoke with a strong English accent. He wore a neat bow tie and a dark gray suit. He unlocked the door to the bookstore with a steady hand.

“Hmmm…uhhh… I wanted to look at some books.”

“I’ll be open in twenty minutes. You can go upstairs until then for the…Library.”

I stepped through the worn wood and glass doors and shuffled between two shelves on wheels that further narrowed the entranceway.

“The stairs to the Library are in the back.” I followed his directions winding in and out of narrow aisles of books. Books bowed the shelves from floor to ceiling. The aisles were too narrow to allow bending over; to reach or browse books on the bottom shelves one would have to lay on their stomach and slither around. The top shelves required a ladder. One’s height determined what shelves were available for viewing. I could view shelves four thru eight without suffering any indignities; if I jumped I could glance at eight and if I slithered those below four.

Panic and claustrophobia began to set in and reddened my cheeks as the staircase eluded me among the chaos of the books. I spun around hoping to catch a glimpse of the stairs- nothing but books. The entire room was swollen with books. One more added and surely something – the floor, the walls – would have to give.

“Over here.” He put his bony hand on my shoulder and led me to a staircase camouflaged in books.

I walked up the flight of stairs to the Library. I took in a deep breath. The place reeked of dusty leather and pressed paper aged to a yellow hue. The smell of knowledge belittled me. I’m sure I was on the edge of some profound thought or revelation when I received two short pokes into the back of my shoulder.

I turned expecting to see the well-dressed clerk, instead, before me a man in pajamas stood barefoot with bed wrangled hair, and a face shaded in stubble. “What are you doing Hhhhhere?” The letter “H,” when pronounced, is a powerful cannon that launches the deadly chemical weapon halitosis. And Bed Head was well armed.

“Hmm…uhh…I’m looking at books.” I was surrounded by billions of words and I found myself unable to find any. “Uhh…the man down stairs…”

“There are still people waking up,” he said, cutting me off. “Shut the gate at the bottom of the stairs on your way out.” His demeanor was every bit as sharp and rotten as his breath.

Unwittingly I had stumbled upon a gem of literary history. In the early twenties a young Ernest Hemingway, Scott Fitzgerald, and James Joyce frequented the original Shakespeare and Company. The store was shutdown during WWI, when Paris fell to the Germans, after the shop owner, Sylvia Beach, refused to sell to a German officer. It was Hemingway in 1944, at the front lines of the Allied forces that remembered the bookstore and officially freed it from German control.

In the fifties George Whitman, my bow tie wearing friend, opened up the Shakespeare and Company from which I had been exiled. Completely unaffiliated with the original store, Whitman’s store soon took on the same charm as Beach’s. On the second floor of the shop he placed several beds, which aspiring writers could stay if they read a book a day, and put in a hour of work at the shop. George estimates that over 10,000 travelers have come to spend at least one night amid the dusty shelves, most notably Allen Ginsberg and Henry Miller.

I returned an hour later to find a completely different cast of characters haunting the shop. The old man was nowhere in sight. I figured that when the clock struck noon he dissolved into a billion dust particles, coating many spines and pages, the star of the Twilight Zone episode that would be named the “Keeper of the Books.”

I browsed for an hour and I was about to settle for Harry Potter when Victor Hugo grabbed my attention. On the cover of Notre-Dame of Paris was the cathedral and out the window of the bookstore was the same cathedral; it was surreal.

A young man reclined on a wooden desk chair. His long curly brown hair framed his smooth face. He was sporting a pair of glasses that must have increased his IQ by at least thirty points. He spoke with an intelligent English accent to a smartly dressed girl. She handed him a gift wrapped in newspaper. It was a bicycle pump. They laughed and used big words.

I waited patiently, unnoticed, to purchase my book. In a lull in the conversation I cleared my throat.

“Is that it for hhhuuueee?” I nodded and handed him the book. The glasses and the shave were new, but I recognized the breath. He looked at the title, shot a glance over to his friend, and chuckled to himself about my unoriginal purchase.

In the midst of stone-throwing snooty scholars and torch-carrying tormented writers I could have stayed, feigned a more handsome intellect by saying little and brooding a lot, but I felt intellectually ugly and unrefined in their company. There was no sanctuary for me among the books.

As I walked along the cold streets of Paris I felt a strong urge to stick my tongue on something metal, like any good outcast or buffoon. In the distance the Eiffel tower pierced the gray sky.

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Dec
7

My Red Face: Overcoming Blushing

By Kelsey

Red face mural

(This is what I imagine the red-faced voice in my head looks like. Photo by PHUDE-NYC )

My face still gets red

Last night I was at a meeting where there was one person who didn’t know me. (It was a small meeting.) At the end of the meeting he asked me what I do for a living.

What I did was…my face got red.

It was an innocent enough question. It’s not like he asked me what type of underwear I prefer — boxers or briefs. Here’s the thing, though, I’ll stand in front of a room of more than a thousand college students and show them my underwear and my face won’t get red. I’ll be on a stage and challenged by a professor and my face won’t get red. I’ll be on that same stage and not know something I should know and my face won’t get red. I’ll talk until I’m “red in the face” and my face won’t get red.

In high school and even into college I blushed a lot more. It was somewhat debilitating. I was less likely to join a class discussion and more hesitant to meet new people.

Mainly it happened like this – I would meet someone I knew or didn’t, or I would be talking in public and I would think to myself, “Do you know what would be really stupid, inconvenient, and socially awkward at this moment? If my face got red.” And then it would.

The technical name for this is erythrophobia – the fear of blushing. Erythophobia can lead to social anxiety syndrome, social phobias, and depression. Mainly it just pissed me off.

Blushing is caused by an overactive sympathetic nervous system, which is part of the involuntary nervous system, making it hard to control or predict. Add in my light complexion – someone once asked me if I was an albino – and nature was stacked against me in the blushing department.

I feel like I had a pretty mild case of the “red face.” It didn’t hold me back much, but I’ve heard about others who’ve suffered from much more chronic cases of blushing and I can only imagine how much it has held them back. Heck, there’s a pill for blushing. It costs $50 per month. Yes, to some folks not blushing is as valuable as a month’s worth of internet service! (note: I have no idea if this pill works, but in my experience this is a mind over matter issue not one a pill should fix.)

Overcoming Blushing

I’ll go a year without thinking about my red face these days. Working retail helped. If your face doesn’t get red when an impatient, angry customer looms over you while you are changing the paper out of the credit card machine, you’re pretty much good to go on the “red face” front. Public speaking helped too. First I delivered dive boat briefings to tourists in Key West, and then I started to talk about my travels and writings at universities across the country. Once I decided that even if my face got red I was going to ignore it, it just stopped happening.

Once I decided that my red face wasn’t going to hold me back, it didn’t.

2 tips for overcoming blushing:

  1. Be more engaged in conversations. This is the big one. Once I began to listen intently to what others were saying, I no longer heard the voice in my head talking about how stupid I’d look if my face got red.
  2. Be more proactively social. Purposely put yourself in situations in which your face would get red and practice tip #1.

Once a blusher always a blusher

Still, yesterday. A room of six. One simple question from someone I just met and bam! Red face, we meet again.

I think part of the problem in this instance is that my “job” is unbelievable. I can’t believe I get to do what I do and make a living doing it. When I tell people (my exact words last night were), “I’m a freelance troublemaker. I’m a writer and speaker,” I imagine that they don’t believe me. That they think, “Yeah right, buddy. You’re unemployed aren’t you?” It’s awkward for me. I don’t want to validate my career by listing accomplishments. I don’t want to be that guy.

How do you tell someone that you are a successful-enough author/speaker without looking like that guy? I haven’t figured that out yet.

Also, I had disengaged from the conversation a bit. I was thinking that I needed to get home and help put the kids to bed. My mind was wandering. I was in my own head – where that stupid “red face” voice exists – and not in the conversation.

If you suffer from blushing, don’t let it stop you and it won’t. You’ll likely overcome it or grow out of it, but once a blusher always a blusher.

I’m Kelsey a 32-year-old author and public speaker and my face still gets red sometimes.

Don’t be shy. When was the last time your face got red?

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Dec
2

Build 2 libraries, win a HTC smartphone & a literary agent’s critique of your masterpiece

By Kelsey

Donate $10 through Passports With Purpose and you will be entered to win a HTC 7 Surround smartphone and 50-page manuscript or proposal critique and a follow-up phone call with literary agent Jon Sternfeld of the Irene Goodman Literary Agency.

Books Matter

I have 30 books in one arm and my two-year-old daughter, who is wearing her princess frog pajamas, in the other.

This is our morning routine. We get up. We read. She’ll “read” to herself and then she’ll have Annie or myself read to her. She must read 40 books a day.

A 2010 study published in “Research in Social Stratification and Mobility journal” highlighted the importance of books in the home:

Growing up in a home with 500 or more books offers a child the same advantage as “having university-educated rather than unschooled parents, and twice the advantage of having a professional rather than an unskilled father.” Even with as few as 25 books in the home, a child, on average, will complete two more years of education than a child growing up in a home with no books. (Via Today’s Zaman)

We have books coming out of our books. We also visit the library a few times per month. And while our little reader-in-training will likely be reading on her own in the next year or two, many children around the world aren’t so lucky.

In Zambia 46% of women will never learn to read or write.

Room to Read is helping change that. Room to Read has opened 12,000 libraries around the world. That’s five times more libraries than philanthropist Andrew Carnegie opened. Room to Read just doesn’t build libraries and fill them with books. They also find local talent to translate and illustrate books. They give people jobs and skills that will serve them the rest of their lives.

From Nicholas Kristof’s recent column on Room to Read:

“There are no books for kids in some languages, so we had to become a self-publisher,” [John] Wood [founder of Room to Read] explains. “We’re trying to find the Dr. Seuss of Cambodia.” Room to Read has, so far, published 591 titles in languages including Khmer, Nepalese, Zulu, Lao, Xhosa, Chhattisgarhi, Tharu, Tsonga, Garhwali and Bundeli.

I’m thrilled to announce that I’m participating in Passports with Purpose’s efforts to raise $80,000 for Room to Read to build two libraries in Zambia.

Books, like travel, can change your life forever. Both can take you to distant realms, forgotten times, and introduce you to a new way of seeing the world and yourself.

Readers and travelers give sh!t!

The Goods

Each year Passports with Purpose gathers travel bloggers to raise money for a cause. Donors give $10 to be entered into a raffle to win a host of prizes, including trips, gadgets, and gift cards. The more you enter the better your chances are. And if you don’t win, at least you gave to a great cause.

Bing Travel has provided me with an ultra-sweet prize to give away – a HTC 7 Surround smartphone. Remember those boom boxes that break dancers shouldered back in the day?  The HTC 7 Surround is like that except it fits in your pocket. Finally a phone with real external speakers!

But wait, there’s more!!!

I also want to give all of you writers out there a good reason to put your shiny new phone to use, and I can’t think of a better way to do that than for you to talk with a literary agent about your in-progress masterpiece.  My agent Jon Sternfeld will read 50 pages of your manuscript or proposal, give feedback, and then chat with you about it.

The Phone

The HTC 7 Surround retails for $499. The winner will be responsible for all charges related to activation with AT&T, carrier contract and data services. (US only).

The Agent

Jon Sternfeld is a voracious reader and admitted book nut. He is looking for literary fiction (including well-researched dramas and historical thrillers) and narrative non-fiction that deals with historical, social, or cultural issues a la Erik Larsen, Mary Roach or Eric Weiner. He has a particular interest in fiction that has a large, ambitious canvas (exploring a time, place, or culture) and non-fiction that does the same.

A former creative writing and literature teacher, Jon Sternfeld is a book lover, first and foremost; he views agenting as an extension of this passion. Always up for an adventure, Jon once canoed the entire length of the Mississippi River and sold a new author for a hefty six figures–but not in the same week.

Enter now! Enter often!

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Dec
1

Who I Think of Each World AIDS Day

By Kelsey

(I posted this last World AIDS Day, but when I hear AIDS I think Susan so I wanted to share it again.)

Meet Susan.

Susan is a single mother of six. I met her this past spring in Kampala, Uganda. She lost her husband to AIDS and later tested positive herself. Because of funding cuts at her clinic, she doesn’t receive the proper ARV treatment and no longer receives food for her and her children. She’s 1 of 35 million living with AIDS.

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Dec
1

Porn + wedding rings = Christian Porn

By Kelsey

A while back I was trying to think of a name for a Christian porn magazine.  I know; it’s a weird way to spend a Sunday.

I was making fun of myself for starting a pitch to a Christian magazine with this sentence: “I slept with the prophetess.” (I actually just spent the night at her house.) At the time I hadn’t heard back from the magazine and figured that the opening would have probably been better suited for a Christian porn magazine.  That’s why my mind went there.  As it turns out, they published the story I pitched a few months later.

I eventually settled on Porn-Again Christian as the title for my fake magazine, but not before stumbling upon some sites advocating for Christian porn. Apparently it exists.  I did a post mocking Christian porn and, as of today, 12,808 people have searched for “christian porn” and found my site.

Lord, held me.

To me christian porn (porn with married couples with wedding rings visible) seems pretty hypocritical and shouldn’t be blended together. I joked in the original post: “What do Christians and Larry Flint have in common? They are both offended by Christian Porn.”

The consensus among the commenters of the post seemed to be that Christian porn kinda went against the whole “covet thy neighbor’s wife” and lust is a deadly sin things. A few commenters have left interesting comments, defending Christian sex, but not defending Christian porn. (Note: I wasn’t attacking Christians having of the sex and I’m sorry if that was inferred.) But few of them actually came to the defense of porn.

Until this week when the post received this comment:

  1. I can not believe their is no christian porn. People need it in context of marriage instead of watching the trash from the secular community. Me and my husband like to watch each other on a video and would like to watch other detailed video of other people. There has to be a place for this. This is just not right. I fully believe that Jesus died for me and that is enough. I do not have to live in sexual immorality to watch some porn. All things are ok to do to those who walk in faith but to do but some things are not beneficial. Porn is very beneficial to me and my husband as a christian.

One question…

Should I delete all of my Christian Porn posts including this one? I like generating traffic and pulling new people into my conversations around here, but not all visitors are created equal.

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Nov
29

There’s just something magic about the 1st snow…

By Kelsey

I admit, I am not a fan of winter, but you have to agree that there is just something magic about the first snow of the year. I called it quits early today and Harper and I built a snowman.

Harper Snowman

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Nov
29

Farewell to a friend

By Kelsey

Brian Eckstein

If you’ve had four kidneys – two that were yours and two that were someone else’s — cancer, and are nearly blind, you’re allowed to be pissed off at the world.

If, on the other hand, instead of scowling and complaining – which are well within your rights – you travel, compose music, and make the world around you a bit happier, you are one of a kind.

And that’s exactly what my friend Brian Eckstein who died last week at the age of 40 was.

One. Of. A. Kind.

Brian worked at Indiana Public Radio, the local NPR station, and he loved his job. I first met him when the World Vision Report sent me to the IPR studio to record an essay. It was an essay about teaching an island village how to play baseball in Honduras, but mostly it was about not having much and appreciating what you do have.

Brian and I had lunch a few times. He came over to our house to help me with some audio once. And whenever I was near the IPR studio on Ball State’s campus, I would stop in to say “hi.” On one occasion, I had my daughter Harper with me and he pulled her in a wagon around the studio.

This morning I was watching videos of Brian on YouTube and I asked Harper if she remembered him. She said that she did. You can never quite be sure what an-almost-three-year-old will remember, but yesterday she did help solve the mystery of the missing nose-hair trimmer:

“Harper,” I said. “Do you know where my nose-hair trimmer is?”

Harper put her finger to her mouth and tapped her lips, lost in thought.

“Hmmm…” she said. “It’s in my backpack. I put it there so I could play with it on a picnic.”

I didn’t believe her, but checked one dog backpack – not there. Then monkey backpack #1 – not there. Then monkey backpack #2 – sure enough, there it was.

Harper only met Brian three times or so, but I believe she remembers him. That’s the type of guy Brian was. You remember him. You remember the smile and the laugh. You remember his acts of kindness. You remember the wagon rides.

X-Man

It wasn’t that his ailments made you feel guilty for complaining about your life; it was that he inspired you to be better and happier and to enjoy life. Even if he had been the healthiest guy you had ever met, he would have inspired you. His challenges only made his life and his personality reach that many more people.

At the station they called him X-Man, perhaps because his last name started “Ecks,” but more likely because, like the mutants under Professor X’s tutelage in the comic books, he was a freak. His mutant superpower… perfect pitch. Play any note and he could name it and recreate it. His kindergarten teacher called his mom one day, “Did you know Brian can play the piano?”

Later in his life, due to hand injuries, he only had four fingers on his right hand and three on the left that could be used to play the piano. Still he played at his church. He composed the 2008 theme music for Delaware County’s Relay for Life.

“Music has been a sanctuary for me — a retreat from the rest of the world,” Brian told a program (see video below) doing a feature on him earlier this year. “It’s the one thing that God hasn’t taken away from me.”

You are your passions

Brian reminded us that you aren’t your ailment. You aren’t your job. You are your passions. And Brian shared his with the world.

His voice still can be heard on the IPR airwaves. There’s something about doing radio that’s like praying. You have to believe in invisible airwaves that you can’t touch, taste, or smell. You sit in a room by yourself and you have faith that someone else is listening.

I was fortunate to have shaken Brian’s hand, to have seen Brian, and to have known him.

But most of all, like so many others, I heard Brian.

Brian’s family is directing donations in his memory to Indiana Public Radio. If you knew Brian or inspired by his words and his music in videos below, I hope you’ll consider donating.

One last thing…Brian and I had talking about meeting for lunch for the past six months, but we never worked it out. We should have.

Do yourself a favor and call a friend you haven’t seen in a while and make lunch plans. I will.

Brian sharing his passion with the world the day before he died…

If you never had the pleasure of meeting Brian, watch this video to catch a glimpse of his light…

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Nov
28

Patagonia on Cyber Monday: Don’t buy it!

By Kelsey

Picture 8

Are you up to your web cam in free shipping and buy-one-get-three offers this Cyber Monday?

Patagonia, one of the nation’s largest and most well-respected outdoor retailers, is asking us to pledge to “Think before we buy.” Gasp!

Cyber Monday, and the culture of consumption it reflects, puts the economy of natural systems that support all life firmly in the red. We’re now using the resources of one-and-a-half planets on our one and only planet.
Because Patagonia wants to be in business for a good long time – and leave a world inhabitable for our kids – we want to do the opposite of every other business today. We ask you to buy less and to reflect before you spend a dime on this jacket or anything else.

Don’t buy what you don’t need. Think twice before you buy anything.

Patagonia products are expensive. It’s often referred to as Patagucci, but there’s a reason for that. In a world of fast fashion that is worn today and worn out tomorrow, Patagonia doesn’t sacrifice quality. And if one of their products does wear out, they’ll replace it! I worked at a store that sold Patagonia’s products and they would repair or replace nearly anything.

Bear Attack damage your long underwear? No problem. Patagonia will take care of the damage, although the psychological damage may be irreparable.

In the long run, quality is cheaper. This is something that every Engaged Consumer should know.

I can’t think of a company that is more transparent than Patagonia when it comes to talking about the environmental and social impact that their products have on the world. I’ve never EVER heard of a company other than Patagonia admit anything like that it takes 135 liters of water – enough to meet the daily needs of 45 people – to make a single jacket.

I took the pledge and I hope you’ll do so too. Be sure to check out the Footprint Chronicles why you’re over there.

TAKE THE PLEDGE

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©2009–2012 Kelsey Timmerman
All Rights Reserved.
Contact Kelsey hi@kelseytimmerman.com

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