The World's Such a Toy

“And the world’s such a toy
If you just stay a boy
You can spin it again and again”
– Jimmy Buffett in Jimmy Dreams

It’s been a while since I’ve held a globe. The World has changed a lot since. I got one for my birthday last month from my in-laws to-be, Jim and Gloria. The globe was Gloria’s fathers. He used it in his classroom. Her accompanying note got me a little verklempt and all.

Overall, globes aren’t that useful as a teaching tool. They are hard to hold and too tiny to show a class. A single finger blocks out about 13 countries in Western Europe. But when I was in school, every classroom had one in…

Read More >
 
Add a comment

My T-shirt: Welcome to the Jungle

My T-shirt: Welcome to the Jungle

“Toss me the shampoo.” Kyle holds out a hand.

“Man, did last night really happen?” I reach into the dugout canoe and grab the Head & Shoulders. The bottle falls short of Kyle and begins to drift down river. Kyle grabs it. The shampoo oozes out warm liquid and he gets a good lather going.

A bony cow crosses upriver. A scrawny calf follows, having to swim in the middle. You can tell by the pathetic up and down gyration of its head. They climb the opposite bank and mosey into the jungle.

“Can you believe what he did?” My eyes are shut tight and suds run down my face and back. “I was scared shitless.”

We both scrub…

Read More >
 
4 comments

Contest Update

Only a few more days left in the WAIW? Contest of Destiny where you could win this shirt (don’t expect it to look that good on you).

I opened the contest to members of this BootsnAll Board. I’ve added their comments to the contest thread. And I’ve decided to extend the deadline until Thursday the 22nd. Come Friday, I’ll be shipping off the booty to the luck winner.

Some contest highlights:

A pair of crotch-less cargo pants
A running shoe junky with a five pair rotation
A warm-blooded Canadian who wears her beloved flip flops in the snow
A singlet with boob shelf
A $2 rain jacket
A “Lunatic” t-shirt

Control your destiny. Enter NOW!

Read More >
 
1 comment

Write with the pros

Writers, need some practice? Wanna get your writing groove on with the pros?

Head to ficlets.

Here’s how science fiction author John Scalzi, one of the idea men behind the new site, explains Ficlets:

You, as a writer, post a very short (not more than 1,024 characters) piece of fiction or a fiction fragment on the Ficlets site. People come to Ficlets to read what you’ve written, and to comment on your piece. If they want to, they can also write a “sequel” to your story or story fragment, carrying the story forward from where you left it. Or, alternately, they can write a “prequel,” explaining how you got to where you are in the story. All sorts of people can write all sorts of sequels and prequels –…

Read More >
 
Add a comment

Where the hell is Lesotho?

I was browsing the racks today at Old Navy and many of their t-shirts were made in Lesotho. Leading me to ask the question:

WHERE THE HELL IS LESOTHO?

I didn’t actually ask anyone. Although, it would be interesting to see if any of the sales staff had a clue where Lesotho was and if they even cared to know. But, to be honest, I’m afraid to ask. To me those Old Navy sales people seem to be intimidating bundles of youth and joy. As if at a moments notice they will burst into a song and dance about a sweater vest on sale in the young adult section.

I don’t sing. I don’t dance. But I do google. Here’s what I…

Read More >
 
2 comments

My T-shirt: MADE IN HONDURAS

A line of tourists stretches out from the ticket counter. They wheel their luggage – double-stitched, stain-proof, Kevlar seamed – a foot closer to the counter. And then they wait patiently.

Seen any crocs?

A family of four smiles and laughs. Newlyweds lean on each other. When they booked the flight, the vacation in the Caribbean sun and sand seemed eons away. They thought the day would never come, but now that it has and they can look out of the terminal and see rain forest, they stand in line content.

The newlywed bride points to me and laughs, “Great T-shirt. Fantasy Island, right?”

“Yep, Tattoo.” I spare them the tragic story of Herve.

“Da plane, da plane,” says the groom. His…

Read More >
 
Add a comment

Pigs in the Toilet & Odes to the Crotch Flap

It’s me again – “that guy inspired by his boxers.” At least that’s what writer Jeff Vize calls me.

Some are inspired by sunsets, others, lovely pieces of art. Not me. Give me some faded stretched out undies with some cartoons on them and I’ll travel across the globe and write you an ode to the crotch flap.

I’m a simple man.

This trip won’t be the first time I’ve been inspired by underwear. Why just this Christmas I bit the bullet and bought Annie some tastefully comfortable drawers at Victoria Secret. I almost died in the process. Call me a prude, but I don’t like to talk about boobs and butt cheeks with strange ladies in underwear stores. I wrote a little piece…

Read More >
 
Add a comment

Job Opening: Cambodian Garment Industry

If I were one of those hardcore investigative journalists, I might consider taking this job in the garment industry.

Dilbert

I’m not.

The job, working for a garment factory that supplies Levis and the GAP among others, is based out of Phnom Penh. It has a rather vague title, Financial Controller, and a daunting list of responsibilities: Financial management, Imports and stores, Shipping, Personnel and Compliance, Administration and Security. To me it sounds like you would be an overworked middle manager with way too much to do.

The position requires “no experience.” Great, I’m qualified. It also says that applicants must speak good English and good Spanish. Well, now that sure makes sense. You don’t need to know the local language,…

Read More >
 
Add a comment

The WHY of Travel?

The good gang at Rolf Potts’ Vagabonding highlighted WAIW? just the other day. My little quest got them thinking about the “why” of travel.

There are just about as many reasons to travel as there are travelers. It could be as simple as checking off sites on your “must-see” list, or it could be an emotional journey tracing family history in the mother country. The “why” of travel can be a complicated question, and for some it’s never fully answered.

The “why” for me has changed through the years.

First there was, “Why not? What the hell else would I do with my degree in Anthropology?”

Next there was, “I’ve got the last half of my uber-cheap ATW plane ticket left. Why not use it?” Followed by several other…

Read More >
 
Add a comment

Rogue Travelers Unite!

What do wine, nuts, and underwear have in common?

They all have inspired members of BootsnAll’s Rogue Traveler Class of 2007.

There are 3 of us. This girl, the Great Wall Nut, has walked the entire length of the Great Wall and now she’s up to something else rogue traveler-ish. She’s been hinting at it for months now. What is it? Tell us. I think you are going to tell us and then you don’t. I’m getting blue…oh never mind.

This couple seems to be wine drinkers with a traveling problem….

Read More >
 
Add a comment