What sex is your text?

Paste some text into the Gender Genie and find out.

I did.

When it comes to writing it just doesn’t get any more manly than this opening paragraph from one of my columns…

The fer-de-lance is the most feared creature in the jungles of Honduras. One bite has enough venom to kill three to five men. There are five of us in the canoe. Six, counting the snake.

The Gender Genie gave it 75 hairy-chest beating man points to 0 female points. Basically, it makes Hemingway look like a ballerina.

But before I go and enter myself into a bullfight feast your eyes on this girly intro:

With a long, toothy smile #2 looks up at me as if to say, “Do it again.” The pilot whale, slightly larger than…

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Transitions Abroad

Transitions AbroadMy piece on volunteering at Casa Guatemala that appeared in the Nov/Dec issue of Transitions Abroad is now available online.

TA is a handsome glossy chalk-a-block full of content. I’m not just saying that. You can go page after page without running into an ad. Good for the reader, not so good for the writer – the pay ain’t great. Even so, I’m happy to be a part of this issue.

The issue is titled the Responsible Travel Issue, which almost makes me feel like I’m something greater than a culture trippin’ Touron. Almost.

Here’s a passage from the Editor’s letter:

Travel has the potential to bring much-needed economic benefits to developing countries and to foster cross-cultural awareness, dialogue, and understanding—all of which make for the…

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Icarus taught us nothing

The fall of IcarusWe’re human. We aren’t supposed to fly without the aid of big fuel guzzling engines. To think otherwise is thumbing your nose at the Gods. And few things piss the Gods off more than a good ol’ fashion nose-thumbing.

If you’re buddy is attacked by “wild eagles” while paragliding, it’s a bad omen. You probably should sacrifice something, fast, or think seriously about self-mutilation, before taking to the sky. If the omen is ignored and you are sucked up into the heavens by a “tornado-like thunderstorm,” battered by orange-sized hail, and coated in ice… well, you had it coming.

Yeah, this happened. Read the story.

Note: This has nothing to do with my trip or clothing,…

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Travel Agents: Who needs 'em?

I do.

I used to be strictly a book online kinda guy. But then I had a personal emergency and had to get from Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua to Key West, Florida in less than two days.

Enter Super Agent Brenda from my hometown AAA branch.

Before I knew it, I was in Key West giving a eulogy.

Now I’m a loyal customer. I picked up the info for my e-ticket today and, to show their appreciation for my $1,200 worth of business, they gave me ONE DOLLAR off the renewal of my AAA membership. ONE DOLLAR!

Oh well, I guess that’s a buck more than I would have got from a website.

I write a column, Travelin’ Light, that has appeared in various papers here and there. From time to time I plan on posting old columns. I’ll even make a category for them: Kelsey’s column: Travelin’ Light.

I wrote about the tragedy that took me from Nicaragua to Key West in a TL column last year. Continue reading this post to view it.

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Hey baby, can I see your tag?

A few months ago I spent an evening inventorying my T-shirt collection by their MADE IN tags. Yes, my life is that exciting.

I’ve added the results of that evening’s work with my t-shirt survey. I’ve posted the results and made a link to it under the “Pages” category. Check it out – SURVEY RESULTS: Where are you wearing?

What’s cool about this process is that I was at the factory where many of the MADE IN HONDURAS shirts come from.

It’s a cool little pickup line:

“Hey baby, can I see your tag?” Imaginary suave Kelsey (ISK) says.

“Why yes,” imaginary buxom beauty (IBB) looks me up and down, “yes, you can.”

“MADE IN HONDURAS, eh? I’ve been there…” ISK goes into great detail of visiting the…

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I'm a Rogue Traveller

Bootsnall Travel Network has named me as one of their Rogue Travelers for 2007. It’s supposed to be a good thing, but consider the meaning of the word “rogue.”

rogue (rog) n.
1. An unprincipled, deceitful, and unreliable person; a scoundrel or rascal.
2. One who is playfully mischievous; a scamp.
3. A wandering beggar; a vagrant.
4. A vicious and solitary animal, especially an elephant that has separated itself from its herd.
5. An organism, especially a plant, that shows an undesirable variation from a standard.

So, I’m an undesirable plant, a vicious elephant, a vagrant, a scamp, or a rascal. I like to think I’m somewhere in the middle between 2 and 3.

Bootsnall is sponsoring me. What does that mean? Well, they’re not really paying for anything expensive like airfare…

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