Lost in Airport Land

I’m so tired that I’m nauseous. I haven’t slept anywhere that wasn’t in a plane or an airport in days.

I’m lazy, so I’ll just paste an old column in after the jump. It’s about farting on airplanes. You know you do it. Go read it.

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The adventure begins…

And so I’m off to discover Where Am I Wearing. The next time I post will be from somewhere far from Ohio. Until then, enjoy this audio-slideshow that introduces the quest.

WARNING: This feature is rated PG-13 for excessive body hair.

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10 Long Years of Travel

Passport

I received my passport yesterday complete with Visas for Bangladesh and China. Back in January, I started the process of renewing my old one and getting the visas. I thought I had plenty of time to get all of this accomplished with room to spare. I didn’t. Unless you count two days as “room to spare.”

It took the government 10 weeks!!!! (7 more than their website promised) to get my passport back to me. When I finally got it back I had to use a pricey visa service and expedite all of the shipping.

I’ve changed a little.

In the 1997 photo I was a senior in high school. The world was one big unexplored adventure waiting for me to discover…

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My T-Shirt: Soccer in the Jungle

Tired of reading? It’s your lucky day. Listen to a story about Kyle and me playing soccer in Mocoron.

A few notes about the recording:

– I sound a little like Joe Dirt. There’s nothing I can do about it. People from Ohio aren’t supposed to have a southern accent, but I do. Lucky me.

– I will be calling into the World Vision Report radio program during the WAIW? Trip. I’ll probably do so twice. Once, when I’m ready to leave Bangladesh from Cambodia and again when I’m back home. The format will be an informal chat with the host Peggy who sounds ultra-intelligent. Speaking of which…

– I think my favorite part of the soccer recording is when…

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THE RESULTS ARE IN!

The winners (that’s right 2 of ‘em) of the Where am I Wearing? Contest of Destiny are…

MELISSA & KEPPIE

Show ’em what they won you handsome, red-faced, long-nosed, model you.

How to collect your one-of-a kind organic cotton, officially unlicensed Touron T-shirt – Email your address to kelsey@travelin-light.com and I’ll send you one right out. If you want it any time soon email me in the next two days. After that I’ll be in Bangladesh and and the United Bangladesh Postal Service just ain’t what it used to be.

Melissa’s entry was selected for its absolute shoe insanity. Who the heck has a 5-slot shoe rotation? Melissa, that’s who.

Keppie’s muse is a grey sweater. That’s exactly the kind of passion I was looking for.

Reasons people…

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The World's Such a Toy

“And the world’s such a toy
If you just stay a boy
You can spin it again and again”
– Jimmy Buffett in Jimmy Dreams

It’s been a while since I’ve held a globe. The World has changed a lot since. I got one for my birthday last month from my in-laws to-be, Jim and Gloria. The globe was Gloria’s fathers. He used it in his classroom. Her accompanying note got me a little verklempt and all.

Overall, globes aren’t that useful as a teaching tool. They are hard to hold and too tiny to show a class. A single finger blocks out about 13 countries in Western Europe. But when I was in school, every classroom had one in…

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My T-shirt: Welcome to the Jungle

My T-shirt: Welcome to the Jungle

“Toss me the shampoo.” Kyle holds out a hand.

“Man, did last night really happen?” I reach into the dugout canoe and grab the Head & Shoulders. The bottle falls short of Kyle and begins to drift down river. Kyle grabs it. The shampoo oozes out warm liquid and he gets a good lather going.

A bony cow crosses upriver. A scrawny calf follows, having to swim in the middle. You can tell by the pathetic up and down gyration of its head. They climb the opposite bank and mosey into the jungle.

“Can you believe what he did?” My eyes are shut tight and suds run down my face and back. “I was scared shitless.”

We both scrub…

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Contest Update

Only a few more days left in the WAIW? Contest of Destiny where you could win this shirt (don’t expect it to look that good on you).

I opened the contest to members of this BootsnAll Board. I’ve added their comments to the contest thread. And I’ve decided to extend the deadline until Thursday the 22nd. Come Friday, I’ll be shipping off the booty to the luck winner.

Some contest highlights:

A pair of crotch-less cargo pants
A running shoe junky with a five pair rotation
A warm-blooded Canadian who wears her beloved flip flops in the snow
A singlet with boob shelf
A $2 rain jacket
A “Lunatic” t-shirt

Control your destiny. Enter NOW!

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Write with the pros

Writers, need some practice? Wanna get your writing groove on with the pros?

Head to ficlets.

Here’s how science fiction author John Scalzi, one of the idea men behind the new site, explains Ficlets:

You, as a writer, post a very short (not more than 1,024 characters) piece of fiction or a fiction fragment on the Ficlets site. People come to Ficlets to read what you’ve written, and to comment on your piece. If they want to, they can also write a “sequel” to your story or story fragment, carrying the story forward from where you left it. Or, alternately, they can write a “prequel,” explaining how you got to where you are in the story. All sorts of people can write all sorts of sequels and prequels –…

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Where the hell is Lesotho?

I was browsing the racks today at Old Navy and many of their t-shirts were made in Lesotho. Leading me to ask the question:

WHERE THE HELL IS LESOTHO?

I didn’t actually ask anyone. Although, it would be interesting to see if any of the sales staff had a clue where Lesotho was and if they even cared to know. But, to be honest, I’m afraid to ask. To me those Old Navy sales people seem to be intimidating bundles of youth and joy. As if at a moments notice they will burst into a song and dance about a sweater vest on sale in the young adult section.

I don’t sing. I don’t dance. But I do google. Here’s what I…

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