I have a superpower
Unfortunately my superpower is summoning birds to swoop from the heavens and poop on my head.
All I have to do is say or think something after which it would be incredibly ironic if a bird pooped on my head.
For instance, today, I was crossing the Liffey River in Dublin looking up at a statue of a famous man. Streaks of white poop ran down his metal forehead. I thought to myself, “Boy, someday I hope I’m famous enough to be a statue that birds poop on.”
The sky parted. A distance “ca-caw” could be heard on the Irish summer breeze and then BAM! I was hit! I instinctively ducked in case it was a squadron of bombers. I put my hand to my head to survey the damage. And damage there was.
Green. Chunky. Damage.
I’m not sure what birds in Ireland eat, but that bird wasn’t healthy.
The first time I used my superpower was in Baja, Mexico. After a long day of diving, I was on the deck of the dive boat chatting with over-privileged teenagers about our day. I was their dive instructor and they were hammering me with “What if” questions.
“What if my buddy and I both run out of air at the exact same time?”
“What if there is a current and we’re being swept out to sea away from the boat into a circling school of sharks that have laser beams strapped to their heads?”
You get the idea.
That’s when I said, “What if…what if…what if a meteor shoots from the sky and sinks our boats?”
BAM! To the delight of all, I was blessed by a seagull in the head, across the face, and down my shoulder.
I hope this stage is me just feeling out my power and understanding how to control it because it would be pretty sweet if I could summon birds to poop on someone else’s head.
Hey Mr. Strutting-down-the-street-in-your-muscle-shirt-two-sizes-too- small. You might think you look cool now, but wait until a bird poops on your head.
Howdy Ms. Cut-me-off-in-your-shiny-red-convertible. Ever have a bird poop in your eye while traveling 70 mph?
Any superhero worth the Spandex, sees their power as a curse as much as a gift. Fortunately, if great power comes with great responsibility, I’m pretty much off the hook.
If you had the power to summon birds to poop on someone’s head, who would be your victim?
No poop this morning but in mile 9 of a long run a bird flew over and never pulled out of his “dive.” He never released a “bomb” he was committed to a hit and took a pinch right out of the top of my scalp. Crazy. But no blood and thus no clean up…THANKFUL.
Bruce, were you running with bird seed on your head again? That must have scared the crap out of you. How very Hitchockian.
Hello it’s me, I am also visiting this website on a regular
basis, this web page is genuinely good and the
users are truly sharing nice thoughts.
their kin concerning insistence in top Indian colleges for different courses from intending to clinical and the authorities.
Unquestionably believe that which you said.
Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the
simplest thing to take into account of. I say to you, I definitely get irked whilst people consider worries that they plainly don’t realize about.
You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the entire thing without having side-effects
, folks can take a signal. Will likely be again to get more.
52.CORCOS J., SCHICK E.: The Urinary Sphincter. https://www.interreligieuzedialoog.nl/map165.php
ᒪes dermatophyties рéri-anales sont
What’s up to every one, the contents existing at this web site are in fact remarkable for people knowledge, well, keep up the good work fellows.
I really lke your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
Diid you ake this website yourself oor ddid you hire someone to doo it for you?
Plz reply as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to know whee u got this from.
I read this piece of writing fully regarding the resemblance
of newest and earlier technologies, it’s awesome article.
Welll written & done mmy friend!
I’ve only just begun writing myself in the last feew days and realised that many bloggers merely rehash old content
but add very little of worth. It’s great to see an insightful article of somje real value to your
It is going on the list of factors I need to replicate being a new blogger.
Visitor engagement and content quality are king.
Some excellent ideas; you’ve most certainly goot on myy list of blogs to follow!
Carry on the good work!
Hi there everyone, it’s my first pay a visit at this web site, and article is really fruitful in support of me, keep up
posting such posts.
Fico muito feliz que encontrei seu website, gostei do conteúdo.
Great web site. A lot of useful iinfo here.
I am sending it to a few buddies ans also sharing in delicious.
And obviously, thank you to your effort!
Can I just say what a comfort to find an individual who actually knows what they’re discussing on the internet.
You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light
and make it important. A lot more people must check
this out and understand this side of the story.
I was surprised you aren’t more popular because you definitely have
I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems?
A handful of my blog audience have complained about my blog not workoing correctly inn Eplorer bbut
looks great in Firefox. Do you have any tips to help fix this issue?
Quality posts is the crucial to interest the visitors to
go to see the website, that’s what this web page
Excellent post however , I was wondering iff you coild write a
litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more.
Hearlifevietnam cơ sở cấy ghép ốc tai điện tử có
thương hiệu tại Việt Nam.
Chuyên cung cấp những thiết bị hỗ trợ người bị khiếm thính.
With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
My site has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it looks like a
lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any techniques to help prevent content from being stolen?
I’d truly appreciate it.
My brother recommended I may like this blog. He was once
totally right. This submit truly made my day. You can not consider just
how a lot time I had spent for this information! Thank you!
For hottest news you have to pay a quick visit world wide web and on web
I found this web site as a finest website for newest updates.
This post will assist the internet people for building up new weblog or even a weblog from start
Thanks to my father who shared with me on the topic of this website, this website
is in fact remarkable.