A Contest: The R.A.N.Ties

I’m not sure if The Rant is a literary or comedic form or if it’s just straight bitching, but I love the rant.

In fact, you may have read some of my rants, including the one about Mrs. Butterworth’s boobs.

To me, a perfect pitch, well-timed, rant is a work of art. We should cut them out and frame them. We should make wallpaper on which the text of the rant is the design. There should be an awards ceremony the R.A.N.T.ies:


Nominate your best rant of the year in this comment thread or write your own. We’ll have a vote and the winner will win something – maybe a copy of WAIW?, if you’ve got one of those, maybe something else.

I would like to nominate Timothy Egan’s rant about the craziness that is Author Joe the Plumber (Painful note of reality: Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream as of today at 9:30 AM EST currently has a higher Amazon ranking that “Where Am I Wearing?” Someone please talk me down because I’m jumping!)

A sample:

The unlicensed pipe fitter known as Joe the Plumber is out with a book this month, just as the last seconds on his 15 minutes are slipping away. I have a question for Joe: Do you want me to fix your leaky toilet.

I didn’t think so. And I don’t want you writing books. Not when too many good novelists remain unpublished. Not when too many extraordinary histories remain unread. Not when too many riveting memoirs are kicked back at authors after 10 years of toil. Not when voices in Iran, North Korea or China struggle to get past a censor’s gate.

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Kyle Timmerman says:

I nominate a Rick Reilly column: http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3567400.

Kyle Timmerman says:

Oops, clicking on the link doesn’t work, but if you copy the address (sans period)it takes you to the rant. Looks like I might win by default! I have two copies of the book, so looks like you’ll have to get creative, Kels.

Kelsey says:

How about this for your prize: I’ll let you hold my daughter.

Kyle Timmerman says:

(Sigh) that’ll have to do. . . . Hahaha! Just kidding. Best prize ever!

Let your voice be heard!