08/22
2007
Man eaten by bear, my mom’s a sicko
After listening to a report on this story on Bob & Tom, my mom left me a voicemail. Through laughter and giggles she explained to me that a man was found half-eaten in a bear enclosure in Belgrade, Yugoslavia. And as bear maulings often are, it was hilarious.
In her defense, his clothes were unscathed meaning he must have taken them off himself and a lot beer cans and cell phones were found, evidencing the drunk dudes buddies trying to fight off the bears with anything in their pockets or hands that could be used as projectiles. Some friends, they never reported the incident and zoo keeper were surprised to find the torso.
In its own sick way it is hilarious, as is my mom.
O Great Touron King (or whatever your official title is),
I am pleased to announce that the global Touron profile, once almost exclusively defined by ignorant white Westerners, has now been expanded. Behold, advice from China’s Foreign Ministry for CHINESE TOURONS:”Keep peaceful in public places, don’t talk loud and avoid sticking out…”
“Don’t get involved in other people’s quarrels in public places,” it added, a nod to the Chinese habit of gathering in large crowds to observe or even take part in others’ arguments and fights.
The suggestions also urged Chinese tourists to respect local laws and not to attempt to cut corners or make threats.
“When your legal rights are violated, avoid making things worse and resolve the problem through upright channels, not through extortion or other illegal methods,” the guidelines said.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20374996/
Hmmm…my official title????
Were you kneeling when you typed “O Great Touron King”? Because if you weren’t you should have said “O Great Touron King of finite wisdom and infinite humiliation.” I’ll let it slide this once. Next time I’ll track you down in China and embarrass you with my presence.
Personally, I think the Chinese government spends too much time telling their citizens how to act in China. I’m all for the Chinese cutting loose and breaking laws abroad. Screw local customs and local laws. Make threats. Live it up!
be careful what you wish for. there’s a reason the gov hasn’t given up on its Quixotic attempt to reform the general public’s behaviour before the Olympics (our friends just attended the opening of a very cool new stadium… and after seeing how the crowds and management were, our rather patriotic friend sighed, ‘We’re not ready.’)
speaking of telling people how to act, there’s a new red slogan banner near where I study most days. They placed it above an older red slogan banner and partly overtop an even older yellow slogan banner, and these are all cattycorner of another red slogan banner, which is across the street from yet another. (we have a lot of red slogan banners around here.) anyway, this one says, “Say hello to culture/civilization, say goodbye to rudeness, love our community!” Each phrase is in a very pleasant, measured, 4-character fashion. In China, how nice something sounds is at least as important as what it actually means. But that’s gonna be September’s slogan. August’s slogan is in English (coming soon).