We're all Action Figures
You know that stuff at the counter that you purchase on a whim? Well, China has shopping malls full of that crap.
The one I’m in has eight floors of it to be exact.
There are key chains, mini-flashlights, stickers, stamps, pens, pins, and mini-play pins, laser lights, bouncy balls, and sticky wall crawlers. This place is paradise for a seven year old.
But just when I thought it was all junk, a store with a life size Venus de Milo. Who cares if it’s made of plastic?
And proof that this place just might have for sale everything that has ever existed – A Wally Szczerbiak plastic figurine in a Boston Celtics uniform. I was at Miami University with Wally. He’s now in the NBA and when he’s not hurt he averages 15 points/game. He’s an average player on a bad team, not exactly the type of player I would choose to mold from plastic.
If Wally has been molded into plastic in China, anyone could have been molded into plastic in China. Maybe even you. Maybe Me.
If I stumble upon your figurine, I’ll buy it for you. And you can be sure, if I find mine, I’m buying the store out of them.
I wonder what my action figure would be doing. What would it be wearing? How about yours?
Heh-heh! My “action” figure would probably be wearing shirts and a t-shirt (not proper lab safety) and would be pipetting something…maybe if it was a high-end action figure it would come with little culture tubes or something! Maybe it would turn into a whole line. There could be, “Melissa’s kit to culture your own monocytes.” Results would, of course, be sold separately 🙂
Hummm….results…need to find some of those…
My action figure would come garbed in jeans, a superhero T-shirt, and with a slight lean to the right. As accessories, I’d have board shorts, the HO phantom waterski, a ski vest, and The Greatest American Hero suit (plus users manual, of course).
Of course one would need a “user’s manual” for a Superhero suit. That pretty much goes without saying. I understand those things can be pretty complicated. Just be sure that the suit allows you to fly right-side-up instead of upside-down is quite a challenge.
What would my action figure be? Kind of a super mom type charachter complete with Frisbee, wiffle bat and ball, books for reading before naptime, along with the ability to do charachter voices while reading said books. Most important; my super hero action figure would have the ability to fly. Maybe she should have a cape of madras plaid. Hmmm… What do you think Kels?
My action figure would have cargo shorts (made in Cambodia) a F is for Forshizzle t-shirt (made in Indonesia)and Woffle Stomper hiking boots (used to be made in Vermont, but are probably made in China now.)
And a Canon SLR (which I hope is still made in Japan)
You are all a bunch of nerds. Not one of you gave yourself a butt-kickin’ super power.
Melissa, you could pipet (crap I don’t even know how to spell it) acid onto evil-doers.
Kyle, I guess you could beat them with the ski.
Lynne, Maybe your madras plaid cape would cause them to become violently ill and the bad guys die of dehydration.
Kent, Your F is forshizzle shirt is “super”funny. I think we should start marketing this puppy. And the SLR could capture souls of ill-intent.
Kels, boy did you miss the boat. The Greatest American Hero costume gives me a bunch of super powers!! Don’t you remember the show?
Yeah, I remember it kind of. But wasn’t he always just running into walls and stuff?
It was because he didn’t have the users manual (they lost it). As you can see, my action figure comes with a users manual. Thus, I’m awesome.
Spoken like a true Texan. I’m sure your “powers” are bigger than everybody else’s too.